Haven’t done one of these in a while:

Celeb encounter of the week: Stevie Wonder

Now that’s an encounter I’m not embarrassed to share!

Nothing like being in a dance club, and having Stevie walk in, and suddenly the DJ puts on a classic mix of all Stevie songs, and everyone is screaming “You Can Feel It All Over” like they made it up themselves.

Music: transcends color lines, social class, and everything in between.

That’s why you should check out Steve’sSpace… he know’s his MUSEic.

Dig it.

What if she’s not into it

• Marriage
• Love
• Life
• Kids
• Work

She said.

I mean.

She has her nice face, with her nice stuff, with her banging body, and her awesome hair.

And she feels

Not

For…

More money

More status

More workouts

More publicity

More of

Whatever is what they say

I’m cool.

I mean.

For some reason

I don’t want

Kids

Life

Love

Property

Anything..

(will she change?)

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

I don’t know.

But today… this is just me.

I’m not worried about

you

Worrying about

me

Worrying about

you.

She said.

Then one day she happened upon a dance

Perchance

It was with two (tango up in blue)

And she carried around

A satchel of love

But it created another hue (moretolifethancolors).

Must be whiskey-eyes untrue.

Oh Lord, grant me a wish

Put a dime in the juke box

And seal it with a kiss

I’m not worried about you

Worrying about me

Worrying about you

She said.

Then she gave me another backwards glance

She’s in a cowboy stance

But her spurs

kept getting caught

on the soul of her shoe.

GETTHISGIRLSOME: shemustbeleadingon

Cause you’re gonna make me lonesome when your gone…

it’s

true.

(yeah)

This one IS about ONE

Plus

ONE.

Too.

Pet Peeve #303

When people pronounce the word “Humor” as if it is “Umor”.

Silent “H”.

Who is anybody but nobody waiting to be anything.
You make a dollar.
You give a dollar.
You eat.
You fuck.
You die.
You eat.
You buy.
You are.
You fuck.
You buy.
You buy.
You buy.
You fuck.
You eat.

You’re only as much as you can consume, or save, or give, or live.

Jesus just called, he wants his miracle back.

Deduced.
To our
Jobs
Our
Wives
Our
Kids
Our
Holiday parties
Our
Car
Our
Thoughts
Our
Viewpoints.
Our
NEVERGOINGTOGETOVERTHEFUCKEDUPCHILDHOODWEENDURED
Get this girl some: she’s only human


Cause her tuneHer is missing a chord.

Who is anybody but nobody waiting to be anything.
You make a dollar.
You give a dollar.
You eat.
You fuck.
You die.
You eat.
You buy.
You are.
You fuck.
You buy.
You buy.
You buy.
You fuck.
You eat.

You’re only as much as you can consume, or save, or give, or live.

Jesus just called, he wants his miracle back.

Deduced.
To our
Jobs
Our
Wives
Our
Kids
Our
Holiday parties
Our
Car
Our
Thoughts
Our
Viewpoints.
Our
NEVERGOINGTOGETOVERTHEFUCKEDUPCHILDHOODWEENDURED
Get this girl some: she’s

I’m in love with

Allen Konigsberg

Obsessed. Since I was a little girl.

Possessed. Since I was a little girl.

Reassessed. Since I was a little girl.

GETTHISGIRLSOME: he must be dyeing

…cause her clarinet is missing a reed.

So… I’m thinking.

If I had to have a stage name (which I’ll never have to have because I don’t intend on doing anything on a stage).

Or when I publish a novel.

Or when I decide to grow up.

Methinks I’ll publish it under the following moniker:

Grit Luscious

Has a nice ring to.

Grit Lucious aka AlphaTheGreat aka Muse aka THEARTISTFORMERLYKNOWNAS: ATG

Or perhaps… you are all witnessing the naming of my first child.

I like it.

…and when you die

maybe there is nothingness

or everythingness

or somethingness

but how would your world be different today?

i mean, if you knew.

that there was some

none

one

every

thing.

would you default

call, it a premonition.

or just be me.

you.

if you knew, I mean.

who would you be.

be.

see?

i just gave away the secret.

(she laughs)

So pop another beta in the player

And get this girl some SHESHOULDN’TBE (TH)INKING

…cause life is too short to die.

I think the main thing that has come about

Due to the age of technology

Is the ability to record.

My actions

Your actions

His actions

Her actions.

And we are finding, that we are…

• Evil
• Damaging
• Broken
• Depressed
• Vile
• Horrible
• Diseased
• Hurting
• Mean
• Sad
• Fighting
• Confused…

People.

Mentally disabled abused.

Kids hurting kids.

Reality tv is watched more than our own waste lines.

Hangings.

Racism.

(and for some reason, you want the world to watch)

We need leaders.

We need direction.

We need hope.

We need (you).

make change. not dollars.

So much to say... my little bloglets,
but alas
i am weary
Florida is a vile state of which I am forced to remain for the next month
take heed my followers
i shall tell you soon of my adventures
of dinner discussions at the bar with
joeschmo1 - 58ish, he's in the medical sales business
joeschmo2 - 45ish he's in the sleep disorder business
joeshmo3 - 66ish he's on his last legs
and they all want to chat: the girl with the tan skin smiling.

because that's what you do when you travel on business...
you tell me about your kids
and your wife
and your life
and the weather's fine

and I mention:
politics
global warming
healthcare reform

… and your still stuck on how your steak is a little tough.

Another month here.
GETTHISGIRLSSOME: realconversation

Or at least another order of fries…

How about a little West Milford pride, folks!

Reminisce or BUST!!!

To all the amazing people I grew up with… I LOVE YOU! Thanks for making the last 27 years worth living!

How was my New Year’s, you ask?

Um, how does falling asleep at 7:30 PM on New Year’s eve with unbearable pain… waking up and going to the Emergency Room, finding out you have Bronchitis, Sinusitis, and a bruised muscle near your lung from coughing sound?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ME…uh, yeah…

Real quick…

My 7 year old niece describes me as “blackish white”. Um, thought that was hilarious.

To my:

alwaysunderstandingalwayscaringlovingamazingadorablefuntobewithmakemesmileallthetimeintegrityfilledthoughtfulsmartdidimentionAMAZING… boyfriend

Happy December 25^th!!! (a bit early)

wish you could be freezing it up in TheJerse with me!

Love you!

p.s. how perfect is that last picture!!

WARNING!!! THE FOLLOWING LINK MAY BE HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH

You'll laugh, you'll cry...

click HERE

My new obsession… I love looking at the old photos! I have some doozies I plan to post when I go back home and get them.

Bryna!! You NEED to post the home-perm glasses falling off the face pic!!!

Mortified.com

Thanks Steve”N” for sharing this…LOVE IT!

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to
people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an
observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to
Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident,
which was posted on the Internet.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They
claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her
period of menstrual clean- liness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2
clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill
him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me
unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.
Jim

“Such human emotions of love, hate, compassion, sorrow, regret, or happiness had no equivalent in her brain.

She knew only pain and pleasure. She was programmed in such a way that doing what her instinct demanded gave her pleasure, and not doing it was unthinkable.

She did not ponder the meaning of her existence. She was not aware she existed. She just was…”

-Douglas Preston, Tyrannosaur Canyon

um... THIS says it all

oh yeah... The Pick of Destiny Premiere last night... kg & jb were smashed! but total fun

In case your wondering… I voted to reelect the Governator!!! I don’t think Arnold is doing such a bad job (theaudiencesays: um, ATG, you TRADER… you are supposed to go DEMOCRAT!!)

Tsk. Tsk. He got a balanced budget in ON TIME. That’s pretty good considering Cali’s past record, so I’m going for it (Union Reps… no need to picket outside my door).

I also voted to pass most of the propositions. MOST, I say… I had a bit of a change of heart on a few after a conversation with Steve.

Steve – um, keep those cigarettes pumping through your lungs!!! (ha ha, inside joke, bad for wide audiences)

don't forget to vote tomorrow...

oh yeah, and lose some weight too (2003 pic, 180lbs... if I can lose 50 lbs so can you!!!!)

UtterFuckingDebauchery.

Vegas.

When it’s 9am, in Vegas, you know what the fuck happened…in Vegas.

Let’s just say there were midgets involved.

(I’m not kidding).

It’s not quite Halloween yet, and this girl has more to Blog about than…

(she’s not giving up details)

For once… what happens…

happens.


… stays.

Still fucking drunk from 3 days ago (wait, fuck, when did we get here?).

Vegoose.

Porn Folks.

Hot Tubs.

Nose Bleeds.

Tom Petty’s Cock.

more strippers than:




She’sFucking… fuck.

Fuck….
Yeah, that’s Vegas.

Just bought the new
nuvi 360 GPS tracking system… 800FuckingDollars…
Picking it up tomorrow.

800FUCKINGDOLLARS… that thing better come with a built in vibrator, seriously.

Oh and, in case you want to see what my children will look like...
click *HERE*.

Florida Recap Part Duex...

Maybe I expect too much from people. My trip included:
- 3 lies in terms of hotel location and amenities
- 4 incorrectly charged prices
- 2 bouts of very slow and or NO service from customer service/concierge
- 12 examples of unprofessional behavior in the hospitality workforce

Hm.

What happens when a hotel tells you they have free wireless access in every room, and it turns out to be network cable plug in only, with only 15 plug ins available (two of them broken) and the rest taken?

- What happens when valet loses the radio volume button for your rental car?

- What happens when you call for a cab with a credit card and they arrive without a credit card processor?

- What happens when you order a chardonnay and they give you a zinfandel, and then ask for a menu and they give you a pen (yes, that’s right, I know pen and menu sound very similar)?

- What happens when you check into a room and they don’t have the air conditioner on when you arrive so its 120 degrees, sticky, hot, and smells of urine (I can tell you the answer to this one)?

Among my adventures in this place they call the happiest place on earth.

So I’m winding down on my tripdeflorida… leaving Tuesday (sigh of relief) ~ SCRATCH THAT, TIME FLIES IN THE LANDOFBLOG, I’M HOME.

I’d be lying if I didn’t say that this trip has changed me.
Molded me.
Estranged me.

The Musings Of ATG:

Eating Alone – you glean so much information about the environment around you by listening to all the transactions that occur in front of you while you are relaxing with a glass of chardonnay, prime rib and a baked potato (cornucopia of mindmelds).

People talk.
To me.
To you.
To no one in particular.
To themselves.

LISTEN.

This Weekend’s Highlights:
Singing Summer Lovin’ (from Grease) with a butchmiddleagedlesbianwithonearm (seriously, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried).


Here Name Was Lola…
Reminisced of times of old with Honey (queue song: “her name was Lola, she was a showgirl…”. Yeah, Honey… that’s her in the middle:


65+ and still serving drinks at some crappy hotel bar, with stories that would make your grandparents reminisce.
The Audience Should Know: I reconvened with my ex-boyfriend from college, that’s him to the right,
Same
Old
Same
Old
Same

Nostalgia or bust.
So back to Honey… she was a highlight. She reminded me of how I could be, or how I would be, old, unremarkable yet remarkable, distinguished, smiling…

~ Pause For Intermission ~

On Line At the Perkins Waiting For A Table
Everyone is old
Old people talk about how they are getting old
Old people complain when they have to wait on lines
Old people will die soon

What’s your excuse?

Bite size musings of good and evil, life and death, love and hate… rearrange me.

Orlando
Tampa
Fort Myers
Miami
West Palm Beach
Lake Worth
Wellington

Among my travels. Gulliver would be jealous.

So what has this girl learned?

Hm… she’ll wrap it up in alliteration for you when she returns from Vegas… baby.

Florida… Week 1:
Myriad adventures in this strange strange (twice for emphasis) land:
Meeting too many roofers, epoxy floor layers, tractor trainers, hurricane reinforcement workers, pool cleaners, waiters, waitresses, cleaning staff than I can comprehend.

Highlights:
Getting hit on by every 50+ cowboy roofer this town’s got…
Schmoozing with some good ol’ boy country band that wore enough tassels and vests to raise YMCA from the dead
Being invited to jump on the back of a Harley and ride off into the sunset with a group of folks my mom’s age (can we say PeeWee’s Big Adventure Tequila Song)
Being invited back to a hotel room to view Epoxy flooring samples and drink wine coolers (yeah, wine coolers); oh and the guy was about 37, 3 kids, wife, and a missing front tooth, fucking classic.
Having a 45 year old man tell me he thinks we are made for each other since he saw me at the hotel bar and then again later that evening at MACdonald’s (yeah, they say MAC instead of MC out here)

I repeat: FUCKINGCLASSIC

I started at the Holiday Inn… room was spacious, king size bed, overlooking the pool… but Florida has this kind of sticky-filmy-muggy type atmosphere. The AC is on nonstop, and its freezing, but still feels like everything is damp and gross.

Let me back up for a bit…
WhatI’mDoingHere: Training folks on a newly implemented real estate management technology. 8 hours straight of me talking. WHOOOPEEEEEEE.

Let’s talk about eating out. Every meal. Eating out. Breakfast, lunch, dinner… Every meal. Eating out.

ATGKeepsItReal: if I eat another deep-fried ANYTHING, I’m going to have to start wearing those jeans with elastic tops.

HOMECOOKEDMEALORBUST.

The portion sizes of the crap I’ve eaten have been enough to feed these folks.

Seriously.

I’m trying all different types of stuff too… catfish, wild salmon, conch shell creatures. Blech.
Of course I had to try some alligator tail (pronounced “gayter t-AIL”. Not a fan. The dark meet threw me off a bit, and even with a deep friend crunchy coating, I couldn’t choke that shit down.

What have I been doing to pass the time:

I got an eye patch for my friend Kelli’s b-day surprise party (oh yeah, had a stopover in Jersey last weekend before FL, awesome wicked fun time), so I’ve been making up little shows and characters covering different eyes, and showing my PIRATTTTTITUDE….get this girl a mirror, please.


So yeah,

Back to Florida…

DID I MENTION: Hockey (go Lightning), dancing, drinking, lounging, pool time

* Monday night football
* Comedy night
* Ladies night

Fuck.

Florida week 2: So now I’m in Tampa… staying at the Hilton (past tense, now I'm at the Holiday Inn for reasons mentioned in approximately 5 seconds), for a $130 a night place, it sux. I liked the Holiday Inn mucho mejore (and that was only 85 a night). They recently got new coffee makers in each room (2-cup brewers with Lavazza coffee, not bad if I do say so myself), but apparently that has thrown the whole staff and the cleaning personnel for a loop. I asked for an additional coffee pod and it was like I asked them to authenticate the Shroud of Turin… no idea what size pods, where to get them, etc. Housekeeping didn’t even replenish my stock (and you know how much this girl loves her coffee), so weird.

Next Stop: Fort Myers, then West Palm Beach… I’ll keep you updated of my time o’ times.

P.S. Heading to Vegooose for Hallow’s Eve, Nicooool, Steve, Serena and crew, CAN’T FUCKING WAIT


But oh, oh oh… I do miss my flat in the LandofLA…

Um, so I was checking out a list of 10 Crimes of Work Fashion… and I spied with my AlphaTheGreat Eyes:

"4. The Crime: Out-of-control hair.
Whether it's frizzy coifs or bushy beards, wild hair just doesn't look professional.

Redemption: Women should invest in a good haircut and some styling products that can reduce poufiness and make hair easier to manage. Men should keep their facial hair well-trimmed, or better yet, go clean-shaven."

Out of control, huh? I will rock, and continue to rock the head of hair that the good Lord gave me, so HRPMH to that!

Matter of fact: DoubleHRMPHtotheSecondPower



Yeah, I said it.

I’m fascinated… by the Amish.

Absofuckinglutely fascinated.

Just a general observation.

P.S. if anyone has an Amish contact, I’d love to talk to/taint them.