Reflection’s silence, you ask?

It can be attributed
to a variety of different seasons
The cold gets refuted.

Mother Nature’s getting old
Tradition keeps depleting
Our history
Our past
Our time here is fleeting.

(we’re waiting)


for disaster
to caster
it’s strength in our eyes
so we can remember why we live
and mourn while we die

“Surprise”
the earth just
spit
and it landed on your eye-land
It created a salve
That blinded your silence

And while you remain a Pop-cycle stick
Glued to your TV
That girl’s plastic tits
Just caused a tsunami.

Relax in your home
Before terror strikes
Or maybe it was oil
That caused crude dogs to lie

(your taken)
Aback
Because affront is where it started
Keep making war
Keep building fires

Life keeps on moving
Or maybe it’s your fault
That caused the world to crumble
Into a pillar of salt


(forget burning Bush, Media’s cost is desire)
But dig your hole deeper
Your ego’s sound is a lyre


To fit in the ditch
That your ancestors dig
You’ll need a whole army
So build it real big

When the water recedes
I’ll blame it on your “god”
Was it Money or Fame
Animosity or disregard?

Although I wish I could be happy
With my life
And our fate

I’m just another Muse
On the ebb of escape.

Um, Alpha The Great will be touring Dirty Jersey and New York from December 15th - December 26th... please get your tickets soon as her show will be sold out soon.

i.e. um, who's hanging with me?

diggin' it
like dirt (they say)
feeling it
like men's mice do play
no time
(solitude's got my, back)
Muse keeps rhyming - too late
and perception is off track...
but my green tea
just messed with your yellow chord
she's singing the blues
'cause the reds can't afford (hey mister, you got another cigarette)
she's joking
ecstatic
‘cause Season's are Greeting
meanwhile, back at the ranch
her horses are fleeting
(her you-boats been busted)

ALL A BORED… she’s waiting

who'd have thunk it???

You Belong in Paris

Stylish and a little sassy, you were meant for Paris. The art, the fashion, the wine, the men! Whether you're enjoying the cafe life or a beautiful park... You'll love living in the most chic place on earth.

What City Do You Belong In?

The Pre-Show:
What am I for Halloween you ask? None other than a homemade Kissing Booth (the costume came out ok, huh?)




The Weekend Count:
Halloween parties attended: 4
Sexy nurse costumes: 17
Pirate costumes: 23
Cups of alcohol consumed: 5
Amount of money collected from the Kissing Booth: $21
# of people who kissed me on the cheek without paying the five dollar fee: 3
Amount I charged for a single kiss: $5

Nothing like getting your picture taken with a rapist…



So, I volunteered at the 25th Anniversary Celebration of BET (Black Entertainment Television for you West Milford-ites who don’t know about that sort of thang). My role was to serve as a Celebrity Escort. So that means, “the talent” (as they are referred to) show up in their stretch Hummers, and I need to introduce myself, walk them down the red carpet and chat with them/keep them company on the carpet when the line gets backed up.

Well, it happens to be that this was the longest red carpet I’ve seen in my tenure here in LA LA Land. Media outlets came out in full force to see the likes of L.L. Cool J (and yes, he DOES lick his lips all the time), Usher (he looked better in person than I thought he would), Puff Daddy (or whatever he is calling himself these days), M.C. Hammer (he wore a purple animal carcass), and Nelly (with a bodyguard the size of a small island).

So, who did I escort you ask? None other than George Clinton and the P-Funk, Serena Williams, and Kwame Jackson from the Apprentice!

My humble opinion:
George Clinton still looks homeless but him and his entourage stole the show (which usually happens when you role 20 deep with large afros, wild funkadelic colors, and hair that appears as if Jem stuck one of her infamous pink hair strips in a cotton ball made of coal (nice visual).

Next we come to Kwame Jackson. Poor, poor Kwame, The Donald gave him the shaft. Contrary to popular belief, I thought Kwame was rather obnoxious. His girlfriend, Jessica (they have been dating for about a year and a half) was very sweet as we talked about life, love and the pursuit of happiness. Kwame, on the other hand, must have thought he was still hanging with the Trumpster, as he tried to micro-manage me. He insisted that I talk to all the media outlets to find out if they wanted to speak to him (will someone please let Kwame know that this is the job of his PUBLICIST, not Alpha The Great). He also couldn’t wait to tell me about his new website and company (link to come). It’s actually quite funny that Omorosa (who the press were less than interested in speaking with) actually appeared a lot nicer than Kwame, AND I thought she looked great (she was feeling a little self conscious and asked if she looked ok, huh… go figure).

Last but not least, the red carpet was closing (phew, my feet were killing me at this point) and BET staff needed a strong escort to take on the likes of Serena Williams and keep her in step. (SEE ALSO: I looked like a munchkin standing next to her. CARBON COPY: Mohammad Ali’s daughter, who also attended, eats girls like me for lunch). The press went crazy for Serena, but alas, she was late, and her limo driver nearly kill her as she tried to exit and it lurched forward (do I smell a lawsuit?), so little old Alpha The Great had to shield Ms. Williams from those wacko media personnel who just wouldn’t take “no interview” for an answer.

I could bore you with all the CRAZY details of the evening, but let me give you the highlights of the backstage happenings (as I stood in the holding area where all talent had to be before they did their press junkets:

I MELTED: Snoop Dogg told me he liked my hair and that I was beautiful (I was actually quite honored considering he was encapsulated by his 10 man entourage), he’s got quite a presence.

MIKE TYSON ALMOST BIT MY HAND OFF: Well actually, he grabbed my hand to tell me that I looked good (and like 100 other woman that night). Mike does have a very distinctive “scary man” vibe about him (and it’s not just that monstrosity of a tattoo he has protruding from his ocular region). So no nibbling on my ear, but I as you can see from the picture taken at the after party, we’re close (um yuck).

Sorry about the picture quality (um, yeah Kelli, who’s the liar now!!!)… not my camera. I actually forgot my camera at home (methinks on purpose) and this picture was taken by another volunteer.

ATG GIVES YOU THE SCOOP:

So to sum things up for your… it was a great time. I’ll do a bit more name dropping and post some links so you can see what I saw… (no really, don’t hold your breath).

Another day, another LA…

Dare I give you the celeb encounters of the week?

I fear I must give my fans what they desire. Here’s what has happened so far, the 3rd week of October in the Life O’ AlphaTheGreat:

Tom Arnold almost stole my luggage Bill Maher talked my ear off and Spike Lee sang to me (apparently he wants me to get a prenup).

Just another day in LA LA LAND

... all that and it's only Friday, sheesh.

War.

I can’t imagine being in the front lines. Death lingering in the air like billowing smoke towers. Soul’s life lost floating in your soup. You’re 18 years old, you’re 25 years old, you’re 50 years old… and you just lost your whole battalion.

Death is the closest we come to living life, because in the face of pane, the only window cutting through our heart is our own.

A sunflower’s death just passed before my eyes, like a dessert breeze through my shrapnel wound. You can’t be at peace with yourself if the war’s got a piece

Of
You.

Smile. Joke. Laugh. But it sits there in the back of your mind (hemorrhaging), looks like this clot’s got too much reconciliation (she’s fading fast). This illness is tied to her senses:

GET THIS GIRL ANOTHER ANALGESIC

Her IV is in too tight

She’s not supporting the Left


Because none of them are Right…

You are a Social Liberal (65% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (31% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

taking you back... because that is what she thought:

Sunday, November 09, 2003


And then they danced...

Because sometimes their mood was blue in hue
And sometimes the gray was used in lieu
And always they seemed to have a muse

Even when it rained.

They felt like crimson
Or maybe brown
As their feet floated
Across the ground.

Lovely.

But they didn't know how
And they didn't know why

But they decided to dance

Instead of to cry.

September 11th (her body shudders).

Embrace death like a hug (she thought) as she remembers the sadness. Let’s not focus on what is uncertain, rather take time today to remember all those in our lives who have influenced our being.

For just one moment, place no blame or shame or fame on anyone. Interject and reflect: who are you without your god (moneytelevisionjoblovertoys), and how can you make the world a better place.

Think. Think. Think.

Before you act(re)

Think about your affect (effect), neglect and disrespect are disarmed
Don’t be alarmed what you might come up with.

GETTHISGIRLSOME: restlessinnovation

segacious or bust (YOUnite)

my heart goes out to those who’s love’s lost and lost’s love...

If you’re like me, than you hate to donate money to places when you have no idea what your funds are going to. Time. YES. Energy. YES. Money. NO WAY! So of course, as I sit in my comfortable air-conditioned apartment, eating my plethora of food, and sipping my myriad drinks (thank you Creator of this world, Karma, and every other entity that contributes to my good fortune) you want to help the victims who are suffering. Not just in the United States, but EVERYWHERE in the world. Incremental things. That is all I can offer. Here is an organization I can stand behind; it’s the little things that count. Of course ALL of you can afford some boxes of crayons and paper for those individuals affected by Katrina. Here’s a link. I urge you to send something, anything! Even if just a pencil sharpener:

ProjectBackpack

And on the 7th day, she was chagrined…

Whatever you think life is about it’s not.

My father used to say it like an old scratched record (repetitive like disaster)

What the fuck is going on? Not just our lives, not just our world, not just…

YOU. You right there: watching your television show, surfing the net, going out to dinner with friends, what the fuck is your purpose?

Why are we digressing here folks? We are living among some of the brightest stars that our galaxy will ever see (yeah, I’m talking about you) so why the fuck are we being lackadaisical?

Let’s question: ourselves, our government, our beliefs.

Bush, I really have nothing against you, I mean it’s not like you control the world, you’re a puppet (busk or bust)

What contingency plans are in place for America's destruction?

Only hundreds died this disaster

SEE ALSO: WEAREDESTROYINGOURPLANETWITHOURHAIRCAREANDSUNCAREANDSILICONBAREDAND...
what about the next affliction (addiction)

You can say it’s about your religion, but in actuality, who the fuck cares if I don’t worship the same SOAPBOX you do.

You can say it’s about money… and when there’s no more left, Gumdrops will be the new currency (don’t make me kill you for CherryRed)

Oh wait, did you have some complaint about the weather? (yes, and I’ll take a side order of slap-in-the-face)

Maybe your “god” doesn’t like me anymore, so she’s pouring marmalade on my sunshine-cakes

GET THIS GIRL SOME THEWORLDISHEROYSTER

She’s stuck in a shell.

So, what do you want to do about it? QUESTION!!! QUESTION I SAY!

Fuck Shakespeare, we need to know what’s going on in our own back(shards of glass)

Let’s change the election process.
Let’s find out what really goes on behind closed doors at the Pentagon.
Let's read more books.
Let’s stop saying to bring our troops home, when they signed up to fight for US.
Let's stop bitching and start itching to change our curls.

Yeah, we shouldn’t be the DemocracyCapers, but fuck, we already stuck our hands in the soup, stop saying it ain’t so…and CHANGE IT.

FUCK THE MEDIA
FUCK THE NEWS

Write your own spin (slap that grin off your smile)

Or go ahead and read it in my obituary.

Gotta love Mike and his penchant for tongue and cheek witticism…

Friday, September 2nd, 2005

Dear Mr. Bush:

Any idea where all our helicopters are? It's Day 5 of Hurricane Katrina and thousands remain stranded in New Orleans and need to be airlifted. Where on earth could you have misplaced all our military choppers? Do you need help finding them? I once lost my car in a Sears parking lot. Man, was that a drag.

Also, any idea where all our national guard soldiers are? We could really use them right now for the type of thing they signed up to do like helping with national disasters. How come they weren't there to begin with?

Last Thursday I was in south Florida and sat outside while the eye of Hurricane Katrina passed over my head. It was only a Category 1 then but it was pretty nasty. Eleven people died and, as of today, there were still homes without power. That night the weatherman said this storm was on its way to New Orleans. That was Thursday! Did anybody tell you? I know you didn't want to interrupt your vacation and I know how you don't like to get bad news. Plus, you had fundraisers to go to and mothers of dead soldiers to ignore and smear. You sure showed her!

I especially like how, the day after the hurricane, instead of flying to Louisiana, you flew to San Diego to party with your business peeps. Don't let people criticize you for this -- after all, the hurricane was over and what the heck could you do, put your finger in the dike?

And don't listen to those who, in the coming days, will reveal how you specifically reduced the Army Corps of Engineers' budget for New Orleans this summer for the third year in a row. You just tell them that even if you hadn't cut the money to fix those levees, there weren't going to be any Army engineers to fix them anyway because you had a much more important construction job for them -- BUILDING DEMOCRACY IN IRAQ!

On Day 3, when you finally left your vacation home, I have to say I was moved by how you had your Air Force One pilot descend from the clouds as you flew over New Orleans so you could catch a quick look of the disaster. Hey, I know you couldn't stop and grab a bullhorn and stand on some rubble and act like a commander in chief. Been there done that.

There will be those who will try to politicize this tragedy and try to use it against you. Just have your people keep pointing that out. Respond to nothing. Even those pesky scientists who predicted this would happen because the water in the Gulf of Mexico is getting hotter and hotter making a storm like this inevitable. Ignore them and all their global warming Chicken Littles. There is nothing unusual about a hurricane that was so wide it would be like having one F-4 tornado that stretched from New York to Cleveland.

No, Mr. Bush, you just stay the course. It's not your fault that 30 percent of New Orleans lives in poverty or that tens of thousands had no transportation to get out of town. C'mon, they're black! I mean, it's not like this happened to Kennebunkport. Can you imagine leaving white people on their roofs for five days? Don't make me laugh! Race has nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with this!

You hang in there, Mr. Bush. Just try to find a few of our Army helicopters and send them there. Pretend the people of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast are near Tikrit.

Yours,

Michael Moore
MMFlint@aol.com
www.MichaelMoore.com

P.S. That annoying mother, Cindy Sheehan, is no longer at your ranch. She and dozens of other relatives of the Iraqi War dead are now driving across the country, stopping in many cities along the way. Maybe you can catch up with them before they get to DC on September 21st.

Sorry for the intermission… LIFE: you keep stealing my lines.

Don’t get your panties in a bunch, I’ll rE-turn soon

I’m here right?

Existing with

Every line

And sign

And crime

And rhyme

(she’s thinking)



About every morning flower

That passes without

her know (tisk)



The morning do (or was it dew)

Fooled you

Thought I was living life

Instead I’m stuck in this fish

Bowl

8 hours a life

that’s right

cOrpOrate

sounds too much like cooperate.

SHIT, I’m late

Getthisgirlanotherpunchcard



Her timeclocks been fixed.



The president’s on line twenty six

(I heard he’s a prick)



pour coffee on his endlessdevotion

cause his wife just got the itch

(she’s been cheating)



What did it get you?

(another glass bubble filled with your business card)

your tombstone might decide to copy

Here lies the body of WorksAlot

She's currently not in the office.

NOTE TO SELF: Today is my birthday. I'm 26.

Shower me with gifts...

It’s a Pavlov-like response. Someone whistles: you turn. You have no control over it, even if you try to fight it with all of your being. Instinctual.

So… I walked to Trader Joes. I had some minor shopping to do, and what better way to enjoy the night zephyr than with a brisk walk through my hood.

My groceries included: Fat Free Vanilla ½ & ½, hummus, pitas, pickles, and Sea Salt.

I’m approximately 4 blocks form my dwelling when I hear it.

A whistle. No, not like somebody whistling a tune, or something that could be confused as a whirring or screeching noise,

ENTER: MONOSYNAPTIC REFLEX

but a distinct whistle.

I turned to face the noise, unwillingly, as my body took over.

There he was. A Hispanic male, probably about 28 years of age, approximately 500 feet away from me, seemingly to be a part of the Jiffy Lube work force.

He waved at me

I thought: either this gentleman thinks he knows me, or I must have a pretty good profile from the nose down. SEE ALSO: I was wearing a hat.

Imagine this view from about 500 feet away:


He waved. You can’t stop your body from reacting. Like any good American citizen, I tried to return the gesture. My hands were filled with groceries, so I did this kind of half lift of the groceries, half nod move (yeah, that’s going down in the books) in response.

I continued my pilgrimage. DESTINATION: home

Approximately one minute later, I hear another noise. Someone is coming up behind me (QUICK RUN – she thought).

It was the Hispanic male (men, you scare me).

He was riding a bike (wait a minute, back up, do you mean to tell me this guy chased you down on a bicycle?)

I felt awkward.

He asked if he can help me carry my groceries, and said I was very cute.

Hm. I must have some killer cheek bones.

In any other circumstance, I might have recognized his chivalrous notion. But let’s face it, I’m a Jersey girl at heart.

I declined.

He asked my name.

I said Nelissa. (yeah, that’s right, not “Melissa” with an “M” but “Nelissa”. I have no idea where the hell that came from)

He asked me if I lived in the area.

I said “no.”
He asked me if I was visiting friends.

I said “yes.”

He asked me if he could have my phone number.

I said “why, don’t you have your own?”

He laughed.

I picked up my pace.

He got the hint.

He told me to have a nice day.

As I rounded the corner of my apartment complex, I couldn’t help but think the myriad questions I had for this young man:

- How many other women have you chased down with your bicycle today?
- Was that bicycle just sitting there and you happen to see it and pick it up, or is it yours.
- Did you just leave work, or are you still on the clock?
- Do you have to pay for that uniform, or did it come with the job?

It could have been my destiny. I could have dropped my groceries and jumped on to the back pegs of his BMX and rode off into the sunset.

Moral of the story: when considering purchasing a new bike, go for the bicycle-built-for-two. It’s a real chick magnet.

Or perhaps, even still, in dream state or not
Her eyes pierce your soul
Her touch burns too hot.

To die is to live, describe some cultures at best
The heart and the soul can find eternal rest
From the images that haunt you all through your days
Images of love, as her lips fade away.

All is for naught in this sleepwalk we fathom
Wandering through the days as your mind still imagines
For all that is said and done for your heart
Perhaps a dream is what got us here to start...

Suffering.
Like the news says we are.

Inhumane.
Show your death
Show your breadth
Show you sweat

Set yourself on fire
Just to prove a lie
Kill a dozen babies
And the government will buy:

Your story
Your glory

It’s gory
(I know)

But without the news we have no show
Entertain me.


Affliction like the Man Of The Hour
While Washington Post takes a stab
The BBC and New York Times
Have stories up for grabs.
(but wait, that’s no fun)

Get your camera ready for martyrdom
(we need a good laugh)

So your religious plot went down the drain
With your aborted baby’s fetus
Perhaps we should turn on the television
And that will bring us to Jesus (destruct_shun)

Because the bum on the street just ate my leftover bean stalk (looks like I can’t climb to the heavens)
Hell, Oh. Didn’t know it was invading
Cascading (like the dreams we used to think)

Getthisgirlaglassofperception

Before the news pours her a drink…

Life: Stop staring at my tits
Love: Stop abusing me for hits (acid rain in my system)
New York: You’re HOT (like Paris on a winter day)
California: Keep begging me not to stay

Spit on my karma
I’ll give you a side
Hitchhike on my charka
Throw cotton on my fire

She’s driven (because Daisies got a ride)

Airbrush me another lovescape (her boyfriend made her lie)

GET THIS GIRL SOME OUTOFTOWN BANTER

Celeb gossip will never survive (she’s suffering)

Condition my hair, cause air’s got too much style
Get me an afro pick, before you change the dial
She’s a_Freakin (or was it African)
Stand
Because sitting will get you…

Ok, so I’ve got to post about http://www.craigslist.org/

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I have spent countless minutes laughing hysterically at the ads posted on Craigs (primarily the Casual Encounters section). I have been thoroughly entertained by the freaks, geeks and weirdoes who try there hardest to get laid :

“I want to anally rape you with a spatula then lick your dogs balls…”

“Come to my house and spit in my grandmother’s mouth as I yell obscenities at your big toe…”

“Sleep with my wife while I watch and make scrambled eggs…”

Um, ok, so the above posts were made up, but seriously, there is some sick sh*t on that site! The part I find most amusing is that all the post seem to follow with “Serious Inquiries Only Please”.

LIKE FUCKING YOUR ANTIQUE ROCKING CHAIR WHILE YOU PISS ON A LAMPSHADE COULD EVER BE SERIOUS!!

So, if you have the time (and I know you do)… READ, READ I SAY!!!

And perhaps next time you can come over to my place and lick bellybutton lint out of my asshole (hehe, that was funny).

Make me beautiful
She said with a smile
Because ugly isn’t perfect
And neither am I.

Give me a flower
She whispered in your ear
Jesus walked the red carpet
But missed the premiere.

Buy me an afterthought
This life’s got Bliss
The cameras are rolling
While the crew takes a piss.

Keep me entertained
Or else she’ll just die
Commerce murdered her sister
In exchange for a tie.

Send me a lyric
She’ll commit (you-a-side)
Her keyboard’s got arthritis
But she would never lie.

And the eye of the needle sees you petrified
(give her another, this ‘wood’s got a life)

Surrender got the part...

looks like Blaaaaahhhhhhhhhg is misbehaving, shame on you! We'll fix the problem soon (Muse & I that is).

Don't let it ruin your day...

Hit me with a borderline
This girl just lost her grit
Put her in another commercial
Agent Sorrow’s idea’s been pitched.

Give the director another dog, cause bitches are too plenty
And when the camera crew is done
Hold their paychecks steady.

a_loan, is where she started
rented out her soul
deflated where her tits
so that her mind would grow.

RELAX:
(she fucked the wind’s brother)
Or so he got blown

This towns not big enough for…

p.s. quit giving fucking suggestions.

1. Total number of books you've owned:
buying, reading, and returning is the new owning (get with it people). Including my bible collection when I was in 6th grade, I’m sure the amount is up in the “start your own reading room” as opposed to the “start your own library” section.

2. Last Book I Bought:
Chuck Pahlaniuk’s “Haunted”. I’m a Chuck fan, love that gory, nasty, sex-aholic, freak.

3. Last Book I Read:
um, see #2

4. 3 Books That Mean Something To Me:
A. Lullaby – first book that made me dig Chuck P’s style
B. GRE Study guide – it means my lazy ass needs to start studying if I want to attend grad school this lifetime.
C. Mutation by Robin Cook – I found this book about a year ago, and randomly it was one of the first sci-fi book I read when I was in elementary school.

I’m adding some new questions:

5. What is the WORST literature you’re eyes have grazed?
Hm. There is a bunch of bad ones, let’s go with Me Talk Pretty One Day… I just don’t get the hype; Or Jonathan Caroll, From the Teeth of Angels, or there was this other one written by an Aussie about a gal’s husband dying and leaving her a letter to open every month, that sucked ass.

6. What’s the worse thing an author can do at the end of a book:
Have a case of Everyone-lives-happily-ever-after syndrome. I hate that sh*t, when all ends up peechy keen, the guy gets the girl, the killer gets caught, the kitten is saved from the tree. How about some REAL drama people… fingers and toes getting lopped off (and no, they ain’t coming back), families destroyed, life, death, and everything in between. Oh yeah, I also hate when a book ends with some kind of silly saying, or quote, or with everyone laughing (JAZZ HANDS, BIG FINISH, BIG FINISH)

I guess I should tag 5 more people, huh, methinks that might have to wait until tomorrow…

and they all lived happily ever after.

Ever thrown up 2 orders of sushi, plum wine, 2 shots of Southern Comfort, a margarita, and some white wine?

Yeah, me neither.

VOMIT (completely unrelated to the last post)

I hate the way they make me feel.

Black men.

Men.

Hispanic men.

Men.

White men.

Men.

As I’m in my car, minding my own business, they stare.
“BUY MY CANDY”
“BUY MY FLOWERS”
“BUY MY STOLEN ITEMS”

Gawking at me like I’M THE CIRCUS FREAK,
with their broken English, “You’s a good lookin’ one, yo”
or “Yo, Ma, you be lookin’ fine”

WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?

Now I have to close my window, because you can’t keep you’re dirty eyes, and your dirty comments to yourself.

Street trash, you make me sick.

Call me racist.
Call me sexist.
Call me whatever you want.

Juststopbotheringmewheniamwalkingdownthestreet,sittinginmycar,takingawalkinmyneighborhood.

Purple man with your haunting gape, licking your lips
VOMIT
Blue man with your black eyes, paint on your shirt
VOMIT
Yellow man with your evil stare, wearing your suit
VOMIT

You could NEVER get a girl like me (she spits)

Ok fans, here’s one from the archives… -POP

So I’m at a Nintendo premier party (some new gadget they came out with, I don’t recall the name) -FIZZ, and my roommate is working the red carpet interviewing celebs…
And she works for a show that celebs don’t like, because their dirty laundry’s being aired on the show in the form of legal battles -YOWSER.

So here I am with my large afro trying to flag celebs over, and not even I could thwart the efforts of the divas I encountered. It’s that whole “I’m way to popular right now to be interviewed by Celebrity Justice.” -POW

Of course, on the red carpet, you always have the B-list celebs who talk to everyone, but that’s another story. -BANG

So, HERE’S THE GRAND FINALE (jazz hands)…. I’m flagging over Cuba Gooding Jr. and he comes over like he is going to talk to us, sees who we are working with, and -POOF does one of those “I’m too cool for you hand on the side of the face” moves.

-OUCH.

Foiled again. -ZING

P.S. the Fundraising Event I spoke of in previous post, Honoring Cedric “The Entertainer”, with host Steve Harvey and presenter Jay Leno… is sure to bring some stories to fulfill your bevy of Celebrity Desire. -ZOINKS

Um, June 3rd can’t come soon enough. -BOING

Update you say?

Sparse as my BLAHHHHHHg has been, the public should know that I am in the midst of a large event at my work, thus my life is consumed by planning and logistics.

MUSE WRITES:
Dearest Readers,
Please be patient with Alpha The Great as she tries wholeheartedly to balance this whole life thing.

ATG WRITES:
Um, non profit or bust.

Don’t be worried, I haven’t fallen off some existentialist abyss, I’m merely trying to excavate catharsis (narcosis).

Maybe life should be more like that…

Convert me.

I want to see your lies
In your eyes
Your disguise

Shape me.

Wear my masking
Like footage taped
Continue to scrape (the stories delicious)

Beaded like ties
On a restless, despise
Reality (like the program)

Jesus got into a fight with the Son
Who won?

Hypocrisy.

Put on your pissscentedperfumemadefromanimalbile

I mean, consumerism (you dig?)

Buy me another round of biodegrade – able
There’s a surplus on aisle 10, used condoms for sale

Feed me another daylight savings (shit brown like coffee)

She woke up thinking, “is this really it?”

strike that last comment from the record, or hit me with another one, Sam
(she pleads UNCLE)

Good morning lover

the wind made me breakfast this morning
I hope the moon doesn't get jealous
you left your heart in my hardrive (download it to my nonchalance)
because the stars are seeing double
ellipticate me (your dictionary’s been confiscated)
even code gets confused some… times.

Run me around in circles, your Sunflake’s got too much wax
(she’s melting)

Or did she just take over the hive?
Get me another vile of coffee creation (her reverb’s got bass)
Copper just married a ton of bricks
Heavy on her aortic valve
(get this girl some honey)
check, mate? (KING ME)

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger of Germany becomes the 265th pope of the RomanCatholic Church... um you REALLY didn't think they would choose a minority did you?

Mass repo-duction
Like lifeline’s own seduction
Left views at this junction…

General templates
Bubonic plagues
Coals against rakes
(or was it pesticide)


Total default
Kiss some asphalt
(because frogs were polluted)


I’lltellyouabouthebirdsandthe
beesifyoujustletmefindyour
bottleoftruthsyrumatthe
beginningofmyhell

Group counteract Sometimes relax Just got the fax Or rewrite history

Buy it at cost
Debrief me.

Put another onus on it, and spread it’s disease, it’s wasteful.

Motherearth just gave birth to your creation
(acid in her eyes)
like tar on my planet’s alignment.

GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SQUARE
GET OFF OF YOUR FUCKING CHAIR

(it passed you, bye) life… we’re talking

There’s not more than what was not sure than what began more than 7 months ago.
Wit’s end
Because the beginning was to complicated.

She’s lost (without)
Him.

Let him burn off steam (she said), for no reason.
He’s acting up, because down felt too good.

(forget about him)

he’s your dreamscape (let him go)
she holds him tighter…

Sanity
Takes
Every
Victory
Earnestly

Too bad this chicks got too much crazy to go.

She’s not so sure anymore, you know.
I mean, she’s living, right, but it seems that letting love lie is less than living lies love.
She’s dilated.
Pneumonia of the soul, she’s suffocating.

GET THIS GIRL ANOTHER COUGH DROP

More tired than hubcaps, she said.
(liberate me)

Muse’s blood is boiling, and her gauntlet’s nonchalant (get this girl another poker face).

The one woman show that just got erased
(crash her hard drive)

she’s a beast… befallen by what made her happy in the first place
finished last

caste (separate me)

she’s bound by all that made her who she was
when you can't even count on your fingers

Even my dreams have a Blog to sing…

Star Wars Fans Line Up At Wrong Theater

Um, so I had to go check this one out for myself last night. Sure enough, a handful of losers (I mean people), were outside on the sidewalk waiting for Godot, at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood.

I think this story goes into, “No seriously, get a fucking life” category. 7 weeks before? Don’t these people have jobs? I had a very hard time containing my desire to shake them (I mean really shake those 11 individuals) as they sat in their CVS-made-for-tv-folding-chairs and matching 5-person tent.

Frazzled.

Because you make traffic stop, when I’m trying to shake my groove thang.

p.s. it’s just a movie

I think I’ll go lie down now.

When you're loving somebody, baby,You're taking a gamble against some sorrow.But who knows, baby,'Cause we may not be here tomorrow.And if anybody comes along,He gonna give you love and affection,I'd say get it while you can, yeah!Honey, grab it when you're gonna need it!Yeah hey, hold it while you can,Don't you turn your sweet back on love,No no no, no no no no no!

-Janis Joplin

Heal the world
Make it a better place
for you and for me and the entire human race...
-Michael Jackson

That don't make no sense.
-Carol Johnson

I never thought, someday I’m going to be something, because I’m something today.
-Alpha The Great

I’m sick of being sick of being sick of me…
Was it something I ate
Or just misery.

Bliss hit a roadblock
Melancholy hid behind

My souls in the snifter
And Muse lost her smile.

Spring back, or forward in rhyme
Because daunting got a new perfume
And Mindset’s thoughts are benign

She’s adjusting.

Tell her to turn down her feature-box
This commercial has got too many signs
(rough road ahead)

She beguiles.

If you don't know, now you know... http://typelogic.com/

Extraverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging

"I don't care to sit by the window on an airplane. If I can't control it, why look?"
ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshall and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way... "I make these little plans that really don't have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out." While "compelled" may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types.

ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline.
TRADEMARK: -- "I'm really sorry you have to die." (I realize this is an overstatement. However, most Fs and other gentle souls usually chuckle knowingly at this description.)
ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows. Few other types can equal their ability to remain resolute in conflict, sending the valiant (and often leading the charge) into the mouth of hell. When challenged, the ENTJ may by reflex become argumentative. Alternatively (s)he may unleash an icy gaze that serves notice: the ENTJ is not one to be trifled with.

Functional Analysis
Extraverted Thinking
"Unequivocating" expresses the resoluteness of the ENTJ's dominant function. Clarity of convictions endows these Thinkers with a knack for debate, or wanting knack, a penchant for argument. The light and heat generated by Thinking at the helm can be impressive; perhaps even overwhelming. Experience teaches many ENTJs that restraint may often be the better part of valor, lest one find oneself victorious but alone.
Introverted iNtuition
The auxiliary function explores the blueprints of archetypal patterns and equips Thinking with a fresh, dynamic sense of how things work. Improvising on the fly is something many ENTJs do very well. As Thinking's subordinate, insights are of value only insofar as they further the Right, True Cause celebre. [n.b.: ENTJs are capable of living on a higher plane, if you will, and learning to value individuals even above their principles. The above dynamic suggests less individuation.]
Extraverted Sensing
Sensing reaches out to embrace that which physically touches it. ENTJs have an awareness of the real; of that which exists. By stilling the engines of Thinking and iNtuition, this type may experience the Here and Now, and know things not dreamt of nor even postulated in iNtuition's philosophy. Sensing's minor role, however, puts it at risk for distortion or extreme weakness beneath the hustle and bustle of the giants N and T.
Introverted Feeling
Feeling is romantic, as the ethereal as the inner world from whence it doth emerge. When it be awake, feeling evokes great passion that knows not nuance of proportion nor context. Perhaps these lesser functions inspire glorious recreational quests in worlds that never were, or may only ever be in fantasy. When overdone or taken too seriously, Fi turned outward often becomes maudlin or melodramatic. Feeling in this type appears most authentic when implied or expressed covertly in a firm handshake, accepting demeanor, or act of sacrifice thinly covered by excuses of lack of any personal interest in the relinquished item.

Famous ENTJs:
U.S. Presidents:
Franklin D. Roosevelt
Richard M. Nixon
Benny Goodman, "Big Band" leaderGeneral Norman SchwarzkopfHarrison FordSteve MartinWhoopi GoldbergSigourney WeaverMargaret ThatcherAl Gore (U.S Vice President, 1993-2001)Lamar Alexander (former governor, US Secretary of Education)Les Aspen, former U.S. Secretary of DefenseCandace Bergen (Murphy Brown)Dave LettermanNewt GingrichPatrick Stewart (STNG: Jean Luc Picard)Robert James Waller (author: The Bridges of Madison County)Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, The Mask)Steve JobsPenn Jillette

Fictional ENTJs:
Geordi LaForge (STNG)

Today: I made an appointment to give blood
Yesterday: I partook in a variety of St. Patty’s Day festivities
Tomorrow: I take on the world

What’s your story? What’s your dream?

AlphaFemale strikes again
Hold on to your seats
The drama begins
(she’s underwritten)

Get this girl another I…tune

Flows like fluid
Mystique like Druid
(she’s thinking)

maybe LA_ughing

Get this girl another chakra, her speakerbox is mixed.

Maybe she should stick to allnaturalsodiumfreenoncarbonated
DO NOT REFILL
(she’s maxed out)

hidden…like so many things she loves.

no news
nonsense
strike a pose
then repent
she’s utterly distraught…
(wake up)

because this month’s elixir has taken Coffee for a ride

Come on,
Be creative
Be witty
Write a ditty

(they’re waiting)

Be free,
Speak your mind
All the time
That’s not a crime

(they’ll see)

Take a chance,
Drive that car
Show who you are
Become a star

(who will it be?)

I’m curious.

You’re wrong
You’re right
They despise
Everyone sighs
You’re good
You’re bad
You’ve been had

Stab you in the back
Place your train off track
Trust is in love with lack

or maybe we should paint all the dandelions yellow…
COWARD

ORDAINED I SAY!

And just to spice things up, I became an ordained minister today…

Seriously, boy…
Stop messing with my head
Muse is currently in therapy
She’s got a speech impediment.

No really, boy…
Quit playing with my mind
Muse’s analgesics aren’t working
She’s running out of time.

I mean it now, boy…
Halt all communication
Muse went on vacation
She’s returned to her station.

It’s the last time I’ll say it, boy…
Abdicate or bust
Muse lost conversation
She’s found a new lust.

(you L-O-V-E her, don’t you?)
or was it something she said...

Alternative Ethos?
More like punk rock…
Suicide bombers
Just sold there stock.

Communism fell and landed on my slap
Liberal deities decided to snack
Big Business called, their babies now sick
The Earth wrote a song, but lost her guitar pick.

What happened to free love? Lost to progress (they say)…
Where condom’s reign supreme
And the developed World lost pay.

Shapely maneuvers
Cause Stock Market fires
Like demons they falter
On the heels of a liar.

The plank in your eye is as big as a Bush
The oil in your car
Makes you get out and push.

Enigmatic like system
Static like stain
Mother Nature’s lost detergent
Just got eaten by the rain…

Butwearyourpinkdresswithhighheelshoes.

This Augury has a typo…

Um, you thought I was lying, huh?

CAUTION:
The following Blog post will include name dropping, and may cause bouts of jealousy, awe, and a yearning to be my best friend.

Far be it from me to speak of the many celebrities, celeb-tots, and celeb-nots I have met in the past few months, but alas, I must feed your desire to know about how the other half lives.

This past week (she takes a deep breath), was filled to the brim with food, fun and friends. Let’s recap shall we?

THURSDAY
FACT: My car was in the shop, so I had to accompany my field producer roommate to an interview with Motley Crew.
FACT: Tommy and Nikki Six were rockers to the 10th degree.
FALSE: I made out with Tommy Lee.

FRIDAY
FACT: I had a marvelous dinner in a private tea-room built for two with a great guy.
FACT: Saw The Aviator , not a fan.
FALSE: Eating raw salmon will make you turn into a pumpkin.

SATURDAY
FACT: The Sunset Room in Hollywood has lost its edge.
FACT: The Rock Store does not sell rocks.
FACT: Barney’s Beanery in Santa Monica is a great place to meet Australian tourists.
MULTIPLE CHOICE: Alcohol + Boys – Inhibition + Hollywood = too much fun to mention.

SUNDAY
FACT: Malibu road trip with best buds is what life is made of.
FACT: Jay Leno told me about his brother’s restaurant Leno’s Clam Bar in New Rochelle.
FACT: You know you’re cool when you’ve been in LA for 5 months and you get to go to the William Morris Agency Post-Grammy party.
FACT: Billy Idol sang Mo' Mo' Mo' to me… furthermore, in the middle of a song on stage, he said he liked my hair (um, I know, makes ya sick doesn’t it).
FACT: Billy’s guitarist was practically in my lap jamming like it’s 2005 (um, it is 2005).
FACT: Big & Rich showed me much love, and I most certainly did “save a horse by riding a cowboy."

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Who’s gonna be my Valentine?

The world is on fire, and it started with a burning...
Bush

When your fate is decided by a Cabinet
Your buttons they push.

North Korea, Saudi Arabia, India, Russia, FREEZE

Chip implants
Sycophants
Money
Power
Disease

So get ready to take that ride
On the hand-basket weaved out of blood

And when Uncle Sam comes knocking at your door
Tell him he misunderstood

War is the only way we… no.

Bored? Read what my part time lover has to say:

http://www.chomsky.info/

Some times, sorry
Tends to
Erase all that was
Virtually
Existent.

But not today.

She wishes she could do it over (I think)

Because maybe she’s still confused.

Saying farewell is easier than admitting you’re in too deep.

(it haunts her)

Life: get me another compress, my ticker’s on exchange
Love: Don’t refill my wine glass, this girl’s insane
Muse: Ordinary got into a wrestling match, now she’s tame
LA: Let me know when you’re back from mundane


P.S. It’s been one of those days.

(she’s callous)

I’m sick of talking, to me.

a litany:

It’s not that Christianity, or Judaism, or the Nation of Islam, or Satanist, or Scientist, or (insert other religion here) are wrong. It’s not that they are right. They are. Isn’t that enough? Go ahead and wear your bumper stickers and your swastikas, and your donkey mask.
(hail Mary)
Let’s just suppose Christians loved unconditionally, or that Jews weren’t really chosen, more so they were…

what I say they are.

Be offended.

Because your job sucks and your wife doesn’t.

Get angry.

Because the incompetent Mr. PedophileofthePresident just got a raise.

Sit there.

On your pathetic couch, with your pathetic beer, watching the lives of others unfold. While your laundry is still in the dryer.

You see, you can complain, and blame, and disdain, but isn’t that way more comfortable than putting on that Armani suit, with matching pinstripe socks?

We can joke about politics or laugh about life, because why are we HEAR anyway?

We’re here, aren’t we?

It is possible that we can all be right, and all be wrong at the same time.

Time isn’t just the continuum, it’s the (continue… um.).

When I die, McDonalds will still be open, but In & Out might come out of the closet. Mother Nature will still consume. Cannibalism will still exist (sexist meat eater). But to me, the end of the world has arrived. Apocalypse, now? Because it seems we are all the antichrist, in charge of our own demise.

So what happens when we cease to exist, or co-exist? We lease, our bodies to the soul (blame him). But we still exist, in the memory, and the pain, and the drama… to someone, somewhere.

Vanity looks better when we are blind.

Or maybe pork just taste better when there is mustard on my mashed potatoes.
Existence just called, could you take a message for me?

The backdrop of humanity has always been a fake scene. (serene)

It’s not about who’s running the show, but the players who keep getting put on the bench.

(elation)

Create me another storefront (shortfall takes another stab).

so, i changed things up a bit, because mundane makes you insane, now I have some work to do, or some work has something to do with me

comments you say? my dear, my dear, all in due time

stay tuned...

Why haven’t I written lately?

Hm. life, the world, injustice, inequality, racism, mockery, politics, religion, retaliation, confusion, malediction, ignorance, earthquakes, hate, tidal waves, crime, meteorites, hypocrites, entertainment, big business, bombs exploding, cigarettes, pornography, raped children, American dreams, total destruction, morally lacking, snow storms, rain drops, dying systems, troops abandon, laughing bullies, abortion clinics, death penalties, elected presidents, consumerism, bandwagons, abjuration, love is lacking…

She’s discombobulated.

Of the most PROFOUND things that El Presidente said this morning in his inaugural address:

“Self-government relies, in the end, on the governing of the self.”

Wow, Mr. Bush… your new speech writer most certainly has a way with words.

P.S. I mourn.

It’s ok, she was over it anyway
The glitz
The glamour

You’ve changed.

Good… makes it easier to say bon voyage.

This article requires a full posting, not just a link, and all God’s people said, FUCK YOU AMERICA, we’s having a party...

Private Money to pay for $40 Million Inauguration
http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/01/13/inauguration.costs.ap/index.html

WASHINGTON (AP) -- It will take President Bush less than a minute to take the oath of office next Thursday, but before the inaugural events are over some $40 million may be spent on parades, parties and pyrotechnics.

That doesn't include the costs of the most intense security operation in inaugural history.

The amount spent on this year's festivities will rival the $40 million raised to celebrate Bush's first inauguration in 2001, and will exceed the $33 million spent by President Clinton in 1993 when Democrats returned to the White House for the first time in 12 years.

While the partying is being paid for privately, there have been some mutterings about the scale of the celebrations at a time of war and natural disaster.

Money for the celebratory activities is being raised by the Presidential Inaugural Committee, which as of the end of last week had received $18 million, much in six-figure donations from wealthy supporters and corporate sponsors.

Among the dozens of $250,000 donors are Home Depot, Bank of America Corp., Bristol-Myers Squibb and Ford Motor Co. Kevin Sheridan, a spokesman for the committee, said the fund-raisers were confident they would reach their goals. Sales of inaugural memorabilia, another source of revenue, have been even better than in 2001, he said.

The big donors are rewarded with a variety of inaugural packages, including meetings with political VIPs, tickets to the swearing-in ceremony and parade, and hard-to-get entry into the official inaugural balls and dinners.

The events begin Tuesday with a salute to the troops and a youth concert. On Wednesday there will be a celebration on the Ellipse, including a fireworks show, and three candlelight dinners.

On Thursday afternoon, after Bush takes the oath of office at the Capitol, some 11,000 people will take part in a parade from the Capitol down Pennsylvania Avenue, to the White House. That night there will be nine official balls.

Bleacher seats for the parade cost $15, $60 and $125 apiece, while a ticket to a ball -- with the exception of one ball for military personnel, which is free -- runs $150.

The office of the first lady said Laura Bush will personally pay for her outfits to inaugural events, which include gowns designed by Oscar de la Renta, Carolina Herrera and Peggy Jennings.

"Precedent suggests that inaugural festivities should be muted if not canceled -- in wartime," Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-New York wrote Bush on Tuesday.

Eight congressional Democrats from the Washington area on Wednesday wrote another letter to the president complaining of what they said was the unfair financial burden being imposed on the District of Columbia.

D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams has estimated it will cost the district $17.3 million to help pay for security at the first post-September 11 inauguration, which includes 6,000 law officers and 2,500 military personnel to guard the 250,000 people at the swearing-in and the half-million expected to line the parade route.

Williams, in a letter last month to Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge, said he can use $5.4 million from a fund for special events in the capital, but the other $11.9 million will have to come from the city's federal homeland security budget.

The expenses, Williams said, include $5.3 million in overtime costs for police officers and $2.9 million to cover logistics costs, such as transportation, lodging, box lunches, water and granola bars.

The Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, which is responsible for the swearing-in ceremony, has $1.25 million to handle various production costs, such as staffing and printing, as well as catering and flowers for the luncheon in the Capitol following the oath of office.

The Architect of the Capitol also has a budget of $2.8 million as part of a construction project to spruce up the West Front of the Capitol, where the ceremonies will take place.

Inauguration day, with its street closings and heightened security, will also be a holiday for federal workers in the Washington area. That, according to the Office of Personnel Management, costs taxpayers an estimated $66 million.

Bastian: "Falkor, it's wonderful!" (looks around.) "Falkor, it's like the nothing never was." (They fly over Rockbiter, the Nighthop, and the little man. Bastian waves to them and Rockbiter waves back. They change their direction and suddenly below them is a great endless field, the Great Plains. Bastian looks down and sees Atreyu.)
-- Neverending Story

it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was

Hello Day…

just like that, it’s over before it began.

she’s finished.

because it only seems to bring her down
and it only feels like middle ground
and just like that her love unwound

she’s better than what he makes her feel.
it’s not about me

like pure-vanilla-sex (when butterscotch is always available)

…and that’s what she felt at that moment

Is anyone else just a bit worried about this whole Tsunami Relief collection program? I can’t help but think about how many dollars will be donated and used to stuff the wallets of the people in charge. Who’s keeping track of the organizations? Who’s keeping track of the money? It seems everyone has a link on their websites to help out… or maybe they are helping themselves.

Loss of Lives + Chaos + Money – Direction = Catastrophic

Money costs a lot of lives…

This article requires a full posting, not just a link, and all God’s people said, FUCK YOU AMERICA, we’s having a party...

Private Money to pay for $40 Million Inauguration
http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/01/13/inauguration.costs.ap/index.html

WASHINGTON (AP) -- It will take President Bush less than a minute to take the oath of office next Thursday, but before the inaugural events are over some $40 million may be spent on parades, parties and pyrotechnics.

That doesn't include the costs of the most intense security operation in inaugural history.

The amount spent on this year's festivities will rival the $40 million raised to celebrate Bush's first inauguration in 2001, and will exceed the $33 million spent by President Clinton in 1993 when Democrats returned to the White House for the first time in 12 years.

While the partying is being paid for privately, there have been some mutterings about the scale of the celebrations at a time of war and natural disaster.

Money for the celebratory activities is being raised by the Presidential Inaugural Committee, which as of the end of last week had received $18 million, much in six-figure donations from wealthy supporters and corporate spons