So here’s the scoop-da-doop
Grand Canyon, SEE ALSO (blizzard), after 8 hours of driving, we finally made it from LA to the Grand Canyon (late at night). Stayed at the
Yavapai Lodge, it was kind of icky on the inside, but after all that driving any bed would have done.
We wake up bright and early.
I’m in the shower
I’m excited as can be to finally see the Grand Canyon, and I can’t wait to get outside.
I open the window in the bathroom of the hotel.
WHITE
WHITE
WHITE
WHITE
(like a KKK convention)
the whole entire place outside is a blanket of white, and the snow is coming down like it’s nobody’s business!
So I wake up the sleeping Martin with a “snow dance” and open the window.
Here’s what it looked like:
we are in shock, as both of us in our naïve “let’s hop in the car and drive” state, did not prepare for such an occurrence.
INNERMONOLOGUE: It’s April, its Arizona… isn’t it like 100 degrees all year round in AZ???
I literally brought 1 pair of jeans and 2 t-shirts, I had a light sweatshirt in my car.
So we got ready, and decide to grab some grub, as we think that this MUST be some type of anomaly and will clear up.
SPOILER ALERT: it didn’t clear up.
so we get to the main tourist part of the canyon, the place is totally empty…. and here’s the view we get to see.
SO FREAKING HILARIOUS WE ALMOST SPLIT OPEN OUR GUTS LAUGHING.
at the hilarity of us driving 8 hours
getting to the Grand Canyon
and having it be the ONLY day in 365 days that the snow would grace our presence and the visibility would be zero.
Here’s my freezing ass:
Martin and I are trying to work things out, and I definitely think the side-splitting guffaw aided in our makeup.
So, we stuck around for a bit and found out the weather was going to be like that for the next day too.
We did what any normal couple would do in that case... WE HEADED FOR VEGAS (SEE ALSO 90 DEGREE WEATHER)!!!
that’s where I got a $600 FUCKING SPEEDING TICKET, oh yes, my bloglets, the gods are definitely playing some pranks on me and I must have pissed off Jesus or Karma or LIfELOvELIvE (she says with a smile)
To make a long story short:
Speed limit was 65, I sped up to 67 to pass a swerving RV (this is after I just drove 5 hours from Grand Canyon to Las Vegas averaging a speed of about 105 MPH on that open empty space)
Suddenly there is an orange sign that says 35 MPH Construction Zone, fine doubled, I immediately slow down… the cop was right at the beginning… He clocks me at 67.
All in all, that would not have been a big deal… but the cop was an arrogant piece of shit, so I decided to fuck with him a bit. He stops me, I give my info, I say I didn’t think I was speeding and I’d like to see the radar, he gets his panties in a bunch and says “well you are getting a ticket anyway” real hostile-like and I’m all “um, yeah, and I still want to see the radar”. So he goes and does his little cop-ticket act, and then comes back and asks me to sign something on a machine he thrust in my face. I say “what is this I’m signing” because the words were cut off. He gets all “Bad Cop” on me and says “If you don’t sign this I will put handcuffs on you and throw you in the back of the car and take you to jail”
I’m LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, SLOW YOUR ROLE… um, it’s just a fucking ticket, this is not life, this is not disaster, I have no guns, I didn’t threaten you, you are giving me a fucking SPEEDING TICKET, this is SO not a huge deal. But you would have thought it was this guys first day on the job and he needed to play the “brute force card”
So then, because he was a prick, I took my sweet ass time telling him he had to explain the whole process to me, then I got out and checked the radar and took pictures. He’s was getting all pissed like “no pics, you are wasting my time” and I was “I KNOW MY RIGHTS MOTHER-FUCKER”
ah yes
what an adventure
so I’m back in the land of LA, trying not to step on cracks or break mirrors or cross black cats, because my luck is bound to change at some point…
