so much to post so little time... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I want to tell all about my this past week, vacation, MJs death and much much more
but alas
I found an ad in "Glamour" magazine. Um, tell me if this isn't the spittin' image of me!!! Where the hell are my royalties!

Not too mention it is a MIDOL ad.
I'm suing.

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i was on vacay (SEE ALSO: Napa, Old Faithful, Petrified Forest, Dodgers Game, MJ Star)
so much transpires in a week
MJ... COME BACK
more to follow but here's some feax-tos to keep you entertained

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Transform me. Adorn me. Scorn me.
But don't take away my canvas.

-me. 2004

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So funny, this whole Lakers thing. Every "news" station in LA is all about it, how 90,000 folks are in the Coliseum and lining the streets for the parade today.
I laugh.
I think to myself.
whoa... over 90,000 people (they scan the crowd)
Mexicans. 90,000 of them. Blacks. 90,000 of them
Whites. 10 or 20.

Clearly white people couldn't skip out on work to attend.
How many of these folks are lining up to make a difference.
Unless cheering on a bunch of men that shoot a ball into a hoop is progress.

These are where my tax dollars are going. To pay for the 90,000 minorities who are going to the Lakers Victory Parade

Bitter? Me? Because I bust my ass and pay the healthcare of all these folks who are here illegally? because I bust my ass and pay for the welfare folks that claim they have a "disability" such as Adult Attention Deficit Disorder?

Bitter?

No. of course not. I mean it's not like there is actually NEWS going on in the world. Not like there are wars or famine or injustice or inequality or.
nope.

Just bitter me.

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i don't know
i guess
i guess
i guess i love everyone up to a certain

(buckets of moonbeams in our hands)

co-habit-ate
not so sure i take the bait
cause this fish pond is aching for aches

dropped in a line
said she was just fine
or maybe she's lyin'

don't let me catch you crying, or giving this ole' ticker a run for its
shut

eatin' my eat and drinking rot-gut

making my way and twirlin' my twirl
when's this ole woman
gonna stop being a little girl...

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National Spelling Bee

we were SO into it.
we knew she would win.

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Congratulations to my brother and his wife for welcoming Baby Dean into life last night!!! What a trooper, poor thing had the umbilical chord wrapped around his neck... he's got a lot of machines working on him, but he's doing well!

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i was always this way.

like the way creative people are boringly artistic. and unimaginatively inhibited to be the same.
or the way religious people are overly sensitive. (no really, Jesus DID actually come to my house on Saturday and watch porn)

or the way utopia is chameleon. changing with every ebb and flow, dance and show, cradle and grow. static is not in its discourse.

unapologetically. irrevocably.

me.

So you want to piss and moan about Life, huh? Like Life is going to grab the microphone out of your hand and give an apology or something?

Like the gods are going to justify tattooing your landscape with roadways and fear??


GET THIS GIRL SOME: gps rantings
because you-turns can always appear

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So here's what happens when you hang out with the Derby Dolls...


This chick from the Dolls is some kind of cartoonist so she was giving out free permanent marker tats (I hate when people say "tats" instead of "tattoo") on all the drunken gringos at the after-party. I suppose you have to get drunk to let someone mark you up with permanent marker, however I was quite sober... just taking in the moment.

fun times. Muse has been missing in action, FORGIVE HER, she knows not what she doeth.

p.s. check out those calf muscles (whoah, calf is a weird word, I had to actually look that up to make sure it wasn't spelled differently): see also: LONG WALKS TO RUMINATE; carbon copy: THISING & THATING

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So here’s the scoop-da-doop
Grand Canyon, SEE ALSO (blizzard), after 8 hours of driving, we finally made it from LA to the Grand Canyon (late at night). Stayed at the Yavapai Lodge, it was kind of icky on the inside, but after all that driving any bed would have done.

We wake up bright and early.
I’m in the shower
I’m excited as can be to finally see the Grand Canyon, and I can’t wait to get outside.
I open the window in the bathroom of the hotel.
WHITE
WHITE
WHITE
WHITE
(like a KKK convention)

the whole entire place outside is a blanket of white, and the snow is coming down like it’s nobody’s business!

So I wake up the sleeping Martin with a “snow dance” and open the window.
Here’s what it looked like:


we are in shock, as both of us in our naïve “let’s hop in the car and drive” state, did not prepare for such an occurrence.

INNERMONOLOGUE: It’s April, its Arizona… isn’t it like 100 degrees all year round in AZ???

I literally brought 1 pair of jeans and 2 t-shirts, I had a light sweatshirt in my car.

So we got ready, and decide to grab some grub, as we think that this MUST be some type of anomaly and will clear up.
SPOILER ALERT: it didn’t clear up.

so we get to the main tourist part of the canyon, the place is totally empty…. and here’s the view we get to see.



SO FREAKING HILARIOUS WE ALMOST SPLIT OPEN OUR GUTS LAUGHING.

at the hilarity of us driving 8 hours
getting to the Grand Canyon
and having it be the ONLY day in 365 days that the snow would grace our presence and the visibility would be zero.

Here’s my freezing ass:



Martin and I are trying to work things out, and I definitely think the side-splitting guffaw aided in our makeup.

So, we stuck around for a bit and found out the weather was going to be like that for the next day too.

We did what any normal couple would do in that case... WE HEADED FOR VEGAS (SEE ALSO 90 DEGREE WEATHER)!!!

that’s where I got a $600 FUCKING SPEEDING TICKET, oh yes, my bloglets, the gods are definitely playing some pranks on me and I must have pissed off Jesus or Karma or LIfELOvELIvE (she says with a smile)

To make a long story short:
Speed limit was 65, I sped up to 67 to pass a swerving RV (this is after I just drove 5 hours from Grand Canyon to Las Vegas averaging a speed of about 105 MPH on that open empty space)
Suddenly there is an orange sign that says 35 MPH Construction Zone, fine doubled, I immediately slow down… the cop was right at the beginning… He clocks me at 67.

All in all, that would not have been a big deal… but the cop was an arrogant piece of shit, so I decided to fuck with him a bit. He stops me, I give my info, I say I didn’t think I was speeding and I’d like to see the radar, he gets his panties in a bunch and says “well you are getting a ticket anyway” real hostile-like and I’m all “um, yeah, and I still want to see the radar”. So he goes and does his little cop-ticket act, and then comes back and asks me to sign something on a machine he thrust in my face. I say “what is this I’m signing” because the words were cut off. He gets all “Bad Cop” on me and says “If you don’t sign this I will put handcuffs on you and throw you in the back of the car and take you to jail”

I’m LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DUDE, SLOW YOUR ROLE… um, it’s just a fucking ticket, this is not life, this is not disaster, I have no guns, I didn’t threaten you, you are giving me a fucking SPEEDING TICKET, this is SO not a huge deal. But you would have thought it was this guys first day on the job and he needed to play the “brute force card”

So then, because he was a prick, I took my sweet ass time telling him he had to explain the whole process to me, then I got out and checked the radar and took pictures. He’s was getting all pissed like “no pics, you are wasting my time” and I was “I KNOW MY RIGHTS MOTHER-FUCKER”



ah yes

what an adventure

so I’m back in the land of LA, trying not to step on cracks or break mirrors or cross black cats, because my luck is bound to change at some point…

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this post
is a placeholder
for the crazy weekend
Grand Canyon, can we say (AND THE SURVEY SAYS): zero visbility due to snow storm.

Las Vegas, CIRCUS CIRCUS meets The Sahara
$600 Speeding ticket...$600 FUCKING DOLLARS, and an arrogant piece of shit cop

oh yes, its been quite the weekend
pictures
full story
and
life...
to follow.

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No, I don't want to battle from beginning to end
I don't want to cycle or recycle revenge
I don't want to follow death and all of his friends
-coldplay


cause i call his number even though i know he'll never pick up again.
-alphathegreat

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so tonight its truly over.
it's been a weird month.
i broke up with my boyfriend.
my ex-boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident.
i'm feeling totally just like

just like
just like

alone. again. for the first time. again.

it's okay, it feels cathartic and antarctic
and here and abroad
and blue and mauve
and
and
and
like it doesn't really matter, you know.

cause you make plans, you break plans you give chance
and all of it is just a
fame
game
same
lame

but it feels like life
and living
(she's in the mood for singledom)

GETTHISGIRLSOMEALONEANALGESIC

before the drummer boy runs away with her mood.

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enough doom and gloom (she said).
one last note on death though: it sucks.

it's one of those things that you have no control over though, so you just have to let it go. i grieved, i mourned but it's time to move on...

i suppose the older you get, the more you get used to losing. not in a bad way, but in a "whoa, life is short, let's live it until the fullest" kind of way.

LIVE I SAY... until the living lives longer than life.

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Steven King, no words will ever give you justice.


Where Steven was born isn’t important. Steve wasn’t married, he isn’t survived by any children. That doesn’t matter either. The fact that Steve lived in California the last few years of existence is totally beside the point. He grew up in Minnesota. He worked. He laughed. He played. None of that is tied to a particular profession, or place or event. Steve wasn’t concerned during his life about where he lived, or what job he held, or how much money he made.

Steve was an anomaly.


It didn’t matter if he was working at a gym, or as an intern or as a helper to his good friend of the same name doing landscaping or on a project or music endeavor with his roommate. Nope, none of that defined Steve, or the life he lead, or the lives he touched.



Steve was music. No. Steve was way more than music.

He was the people he pushed to be outside-the-box, and the lives he changed for the better. He was the caring gentleman that remembered your birthday and to make it special (every. single. time). He was the loving boyfriend who had a song for every occasion. He was the best friend who always had a couch to sleep on when you came to visit. He was the type to give you the shirt off his back, even if he didn’t have a shirt on his back to give. He was the one who brought people together, who didn’t want to be together. He was the one you wanted to go to a party with, or the one you wanted to sit and have a long conversation with or the one you wanted to just be in silence with. He was the Christmas that you looked forward to every year (and the Totino’s Pizza Rolls for New Years) and the road trip that you knew he would make the best mixed cd for. He was Las Vegas on Halloween, and the Eagles concert from the 7th row. He was that guy dancing at the Bob Dylan concert not giving a shit what you think. He was the rain and the stars and the moon and the sun, and life and laughter and living, mixed up in one.
Steve was raw emotion.



He lived his life on the edge of edges, never willing to take mediocrity as the norm. He was the pants with the rips in the knees (that were REAL rips, not that fake shit you buy in the store), and his Doc Martens, and his Diet Sparks and his record collection and the new bands he discovered and the old bands he discovered and the lyrics he knew by heart and the antithesis of the middle class. He was that nasty egg-white and oatmeal concoction (you know, the one with one slice of cheese and ketchup on top), and the dirty gray hoodie he borrowed from you and never gave back. He was lessons learned and knowledge gained.


He was the one your mom warned you about.

He was compassion and love and challenge and harsh and real and in-your-face and never-give-up and love and love and love.

and love.

He is survived by the good music yet to be discovered, and the memories that will always be alive, and the moments shared, and all the friends and family that will never forget him. He lives on in the hearts and minds of all who had the pleasure of being in his presence.


Steve is and always will be.

my muse, your muse, the museic we see(k).

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I just found Steve's obituary in the Winona Daily News. They list him as living in North Hollywood, CA. That's my address. He lived in West Hollywood... he would have laughed at that. I laughed at that. We would have laughed together at that.

Steven King

NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Calif./Winona — Steven King, 27, of North Hollywood and formerly of Winona died Wednesday, March 11, 2009, due to injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident.

Arrangements are pending with Fawcett-Junker Funeral Home and Cremation Services, Winona.

His obituary does not do him justice, so I will make one for him. I guess I kind of need to do that, I need some closure.

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I’m not so sure what to do with my feelings on this one, and I'm hurting.

Steven King, you will be forever in my heart of hearts and I’ll never forget the moments we got to share.

I never got a chance to fix that flower I put on your helmet, but i know when you wear it to wherever we go when we leave this place, it will give you Shelter From the Storm.





To all you who new Steve, he died when a vehicle ran a stop sign and hit him on his motorcycle.

… the Museic lives on (and I hope they have diet Sparks wherever you are…)

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here's some comic relief... so I don't strangle Sallie Mae

i'm paying off my student loan this month... THORN IN MY SIDE


Halle-fucking-lujia!!!!

7 years I've been making minimum payments...freaking Sallie Mae had me paying little bits every month for the next 30 years!!! I calculated it and if I would have stuck with their payment plan, I would have paid MORE in interest than the actual freaking loan... Um, in all the 7 years that I was paying, I wasn't even putting a DENT in the amount because of interest.
MONEYRAPERS
but I've been sending in 2 to 3 THOUSAND extra the past few months and got it down...

this month:
10,000 buckeroos GONE, POOF
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

but that will pay the balance. and when I see that 0.00 amount due, I do believe I will do a victory dance.

living debt free. priceless.

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falled
a tear
malled (called)
a year
she sent

harmonica sounds tepid
with a slight of bout
she might have gone crazy but
lived without.

cause love is love and love is hate
when she woke up
she conceded to fate.


and maybe she doesn’t write like that anymore
but you bring
it back.

brought on by a simple twist of fate.

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so yesterday, on AlphaMartinLove Day, we had an amazing evening:

We talked of course, first, about V-day, and he especially wanted to know what was expected of him (gotta love these foreign men!). I told him I wasn’t into the whole “commercialized-show-your-love-with-crappy-candy-try-to-get-a-table-at-a-restaurant-because-they-made-up-some-holiday-to-stimulate-the-economy” and he was totally fine with that.

So we pre-planned it… we bought ourselves a Playstation 2. And some games… Karaoke Revolution, Rocky, Jeopardy (well, I actually went and bought Jeopardy and some other Trivia games, and he was like “uh, can we have LESS nerd games please” heheee)

and we planned to have a wonderful evening inside, we made fondue, chocolate covered strawberries, we took a walk under the stars…. it was AWESOME.

but here’s the funny part:

so I was in the pharmacy a few days earlier, and although we said we weren’t doing additional gifts… I picked him up some shoe insoles because he said his feet were hurting him when we were walking. I wrapped up the insoles in the weather section of the newspaper and handed it to him when he walked in yesterday.

then he said, that’s funny, I got you something to, and he handed me Tums!!! I had complained the past week that my stomach was bothering me, so he picked up some Tums in case that happened again. We were laughing so hard at our 80-year-old couple gifts!! Tums and insoles, sheesh… geriatrics, here we come!

that’s love folks.

needs. not wants.
met.

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So i went to the premiere of "he's just not that into you" last night...
here's who I saw:

Hollywood.com


but more importantly, I bumped into RON JEREMY, heheee...my life long dream has been met

cute movie, I really did laugh out loud for some parts... I would recommend definitely as movie to go see for my girlfriends, and I think guys would sit through it because it had enough infidelity and testosterone to keep them quiet. I didn't bring my camera, so no pics on this one.

Oh, and me and the man are back together, working things out... so far so good. Details and relationship advice to follow (hehee, just kidding) (about the relationship advice that is)

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and just like that
it was over.

weird.

so we spend the last year together… this February would have been our one year anniversary. That’s the point I guess.

when you have to re-evaluate.

and I did.

and once again I find that perhaps I would be more compatible with someone else.

so i did it. just like that.

last night we are holding each other close.

today, he’s packing his stuff and I’m saying “no hard feelings, i wish you the best”.

hm.
hrphm.
humph.

alphathegreat needs some alone time…

(breath
of
fresh
air)

she said…

and then she returned to herself.

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make your own!
http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com/

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among the amazing Norwegian groups my man has told me about... heeheee, love when he sings this in norwegian!!!!

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my follow-through on posting pics has been less than perfect... but I wanted to send a little ditty out.

is it me or are they TOTALLY downplaying this whole throwing shoe at the president thing? I mean if this would have happened to ANY other president, it would have been "BREAKING NEWS" and they would be all over it. They would be interviewing the guy's family and talking about charges and giving the history of how the guy was able to do it. Instead it's a laughing point... so weird... if that were a gun, the President would be done... and did you see how long it took Secret Service to even respond???

Funny thing is I get a BREAKING NEWS ALERT e-mail in my inbox this morning, that says "GUY RITCHY TO GET HUGE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT" seriously, that gets breaking news status, but a threat to the President...

what the fuck is going on in this world...

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she's under construction
as if you couldn't tell

get this girls some STRANGERS
before her
creativity
quells


and maybe you should fear a record
like the one we used to play

cause if she's going through CHANGES
musemighttrytostray

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so I didn't post the turkey pic, SORRY MY 3 AUDIENCE MEMBERS!! heehee,
but me and the man are making other stuff!!!

We are making salt dough ornaments!

They need to get a little harder before we paint them, and I'll post a finished pic, but here's some to tide you over (gotta love my man for always being willing to do whatever project I suggest!!!)...

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