Alphadisiac: ThE wOrLd AcCoRdInG tO mE

I'm amazed at how dim-witted, stupid, duncical the folks are here in the good 'ole south. Don't get me wrong, people are dumb everywhere... but it seems that there is an inordinate amount located in the vicinity of my community.  Seriously, I'm afraid to venture outside of my home as every time I do just that, I encounter incredible lacks of intellectual acuity. 
Case in point: simple task... get some ice cream.  I've been eye-ing this place called GoodBerrys that I've never heard of. They advertised as having "frozen custard", so I was stoked to see what that taste like.  SPOILER ALERT:  like cheap crappy imitation supermarket brand ice cream.
2 ice-creams and $14dollars and some change later, the hubs and I are on our way home to eat said delight.  I got a small that cost a whopping $5 bucks and the hubs got a quart... (yeah seriously, could have gotten like 3 Ben & Jerrys for that amount).  
REWIND: There were two very young (I'm talking no older than 15) working there. My husband hands the girl a $20, she rings it up on the cash register, then Ryan sees that he has $15, so he says,"actually let me give you $15" since it came to $14 and some change.  The girl froze (literally) in her spot and said "oh, I can't since you already gave me the 20", the freaking chick didn't know how to make change. HolyfreakingMoses!  Oh, it gets better...
Fast Forward:  We're riding home, and I start eating my ice cream in the car. It's completely melty and soft, with no flavor. Very disappointed. But the kicker is: I ordered Butter Pecan with brownie in it (the place is kind of like one of those one's where you choose a flavor and add mix-ins). Well, the guy making it (also a very young teenager) forgot to add the brownie (but charged us for it) and instead of PECANS, the kid puts in WALNUTS. Huge chunks of walnuts in butter pecan flavored shit. Disappointment = evident.


Dear South,
Instead of trying to SECEDE from the UNION, try to SUCCEED from the UNION.


Love,
ATG