this post
is a placeholder
for the crazy weekend
Grand Canyon, can we say (AND THE SURVEY SAYS): zero visbility due to snow storm.

Las Vegas, CIRCUS CIRCUS meets The Sahara
$600 Speeding ticket...$600 FUCKING DOLLARS, and an arrogant piece of shit cop

oh yes, its been quite the weekend
pictures
full story
and
life...
to follow.

No, I don't want to battle from beginning to end
I don't want to cycle or recycle revenge
I don't want to follow death and all of his friends
-coldplay


cause i call his number even though i know he'll never pick up again.
-alphathegreat

so tonight its truly over.
it's been a weird month.
i broke up with my boyfriend.
my ex-boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident.
i'm feeling totally just like

just like
just like

alone. again. for the first time. again.

it's okay, it feels cathartic and antarctic
and here and abroad
and blue and mauve
and
and
and
like it doesn't really matter, you know.

cause you make plans, you break plans you give chance
and all of it is just a
fame
game
same
lame

but it feels like life
and living
(she's in the mood for singledom)

GETTHISGIRLSOMEALONEANALGESIC

before the drummer boy runs away with her mood.

enough doom and gloom (she said).
one last note on death though: it sucks.

it's one of those things that you have no control over though, so you just have to let it go. i grieved, i mourned but it's time to move on...

i suppose the older you get, the more you get used to losing. not in a bad way, but in a "whoa, life is short, let's live it until the fullest" kind of way.

LIVE I SAY... until the living lives longer than life.

Steven King, no words will ever give you justice.


Where Steven was born isn’t important. Steve wasn’t married, he isn’t survived by any children. That doesn’t matter either. The fact that Steve lived in California the last few years of existence is totally beside the point. He grew up in Minnesota. He worked. He laughed. He played. None of that is tied to a particular profession, or place or event. Steve wasn’t concerned during his life about where he lived, or what job he held, or how much money he made.

Steve was an anomaly.


It didn’t matter if he was working at a gym, or as an intern or as a helper to his good friend of the same name doing landscaping or on a project or music endeavor with his roommate. Nope, none of that defined Steve, or the life he lead, or the lives he touched.



Steve was music. No. Steve was way more than music.

He was the people he pushed to be outside-the-box, and the lives he changed for the better. He was the caring gentleman that remembered your birthday and to make it special (every. single. time). He was the loving boyfriend who had a song for every occasion. He was the best friend who always had a couch to sleep on when you came to visit. He was the type to give you the shirt off his back, even if he didn’t have a shirt on his back to give. He was the one who brought people together, who didn’t want to be together. He was the one you wanted to go to a party with, or the one you wanted to sit and have a long conversation with or the one you wanted to just be in silence with. He was the Christmas that you looked forward to every year (and the Totino’s Pizza Rolls for New Years) and the road trip that you knew he would make the best mixed cd for. He was Las Vegas on Halloween, and the Eagles concert from the 7th row. He was that guy dancing at the Bob Dylan concert not giving a shit what you think. He was the rain and the stars and the moon and the sun, and life and laughter and living, mixed up in one.
Steve was raw emotion.



He lived his life on the edge of edges, never willing to take mediocrity as the norm. He was the pants with the rips in the knees (that were REAL rips, not that fake shit you buy in the store), and his Doc Martens, and his Diet Sparks and his record collection and the new bands he discovered and the old bands he discovered and the lyrics he knew by heart and the antithesis of the middle class. He was that nasty egg-white and oatmeal concoction (you know, the one with one slice of cheese and ketchup on top), and the dirty gray hoodie he borrowed from you and never gave back. He was lessons learned and knowledge gained.


He was the one your mom warned you about.

He was compassion and love and challenge and harsh and real and in-your-face and never-give-up and love and love and love.

and love.

He is survived by the good music yet to be discovered, and the memories that will always be alive, and the moments shared, and all the friends and family that will never forget him. He lives on in the hearts and minds of all who had the pleasure of being in his presence.


Steve is and always will be.

my muse, your muse, the museic we see(k).

I just found Steve's obituary in the Winona Daily News. They list him as living in North Hollywood, CA. That's my address. He lived in West Hollywood... he would have laughed at that. I laughed at that. We would have laughed together at that.

Steven King

NORTH HOLLYWOOD, Calif./Winona — Steven King, 27, of North Hollywood and formerly of Winona died Wednesday, March 11, 2009, due to injuries sustained in a motorcycle accident.

Arrangements are pending with Fawcett-Junker Funeral Home and Cremation Services, Winona.

His obituary does not do him justice, so I will make one for him. I guess I kind of need to do that, I need some closure.

I’m not so sure what to do with my feelings on this one, and I'm hurting.

Steven King, you will be forever in my heart of hearts and I’ll never forget the moments we got to share.

I never got a chance to fix that flower I put on your helmet, but i know when you wear it to wherever we go when we leave this place, it will give you Shelter From the Storm.





To all you who new Steve, he died when a vehicle ran a stop sign and hit him on his motorcycle.

… the Museic lives on (and I hope they have diet Sparks wherever you are…)

here's some comic relief... so I don't strangle Sallie Mae

i'm paying off my student loan this month... THORN IN MY SIDE


Halle-fucking-lujia!!!!

7 years I've been making minimum payments...freaking Sallie Mae had me paying little bits every month for the next 30 years!!! I calculated it and if I would have stuck with their payment plan, I would have paid MORE in interest than the actual freaking loan... Um, in all the 7 years that I was paying, I wasn't even putting a DENT in the amount because of interest.
MONEYRAPERS
but I've been sending in 2 to 3 THOUSAND extra the past few months and got it down...

this month:
10,000 buckeroos GONE, POOF
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

but that will pay the balance. and when I see that 0.00 amount due, I do believe I will do a victory dance.

living debt free. priceless.

falled
a tear
malled (called)
a year
she sent

harmonica sounds tepid
with a slight of bout
she might have gone crazy but
lived without.

cause love is love and love is hate
when she woke up
she conceded to fate.


and maybe she doesn’t write like that anymore
but you bring
it back.

brought on by a simple twist of fate.

so yesterday, on AlphaMartinLove Day, we had an amazing evening:

We talked of course, first, about V-day, and he especially wanted to know what was expected of him (gotta love these foreign men!). I told him I wasn’t into the whole “commercialized-show-your-love-with-crappy-candy-try-to-get-a-table-at-a-restaurant-because-they-made-up-some-holiday-to-stimulate-the-economy” and he was totally fine with that.

So we pre-planned it… we bought ourselves a Playstation 2. And some games… Karaoke Revolution, Rocky, Jeopardy (well, I actually went and bought Jeopardy and some other Trivia games, and he was like “uh, can we have LESS nerd games please” heheee)

and we planned to have a wonderful evening inside, we made fondue, chocolate covered strawberries, we took a walk under the stars…. it was AWESOME.

but here’s the funny part:

so I was in the pharmacy a few days earlier, and although we said we weren’t doing additional gifts… I picked him up some shoe insoles because he said his feet were hurting him when we were walking. I wrapped up the insoles in the weather section of the newspaper and handed it to him when he walked in yesterday.

then he said, that’s funny, I got you something to, and he handed me Tums!!! I had complained the past week that my stomach was bothering me, so he picked up some Tums in case that happened again. We were laughing so hard at our 80-year-old couple gifts!! Tums and insoles, sheesh… geriatrics, here we come!

that’s love folks.

needs. not wants.
met.

So i went to the premiere of "he's just not that into you" last night...
here's who I saw:

Hollywood.com


but more importantly, I bumped into RON JEREMY, heheee...my life long dream has been met

cute movie, I really did laugh out loud for some parts... I would recommend definitely as movie to go see for my girlfriends, and I think guys would sit through it because it had enough infidelity and testosterone to keep them quiet. I didn't bring my camera, so no pics on this one.

Oh, and me and the man are back together, working things out... so far so good. Details and relationship advice to follow (hehee, just kidding) (about the relationship advice that is)

and just like that
it was over.

weird.

so we spend the last year together… this February would have been our one year anniversary. That’s the point I guess.

when you have to re-evaluate.

and I did.

and once again I find that perhaps I would be more compatible with someone else.

so i did it. just like that.

last night we are holding each other close.

today, he’s packing his stuff and I’m saying “no hard feelings, i wish you the best”.

hm.
hrphm.
humph.

alphathegreat needs some alone time…

(breath
of
fresh
air)

she said…

and then she returned to herself.

make your own!
http://obamiconme.pastemagazine.com/

among the amazing Norwegian groups my man has told me about... heeheee, love when he sings this in norwegian!!!!

my follow-through on posting pics has been less than perfect... but I wanted to send a little ditty out.

is it me or are they TOTALLY downplaying this whole throwing shoe at the president thing? I mean if this would have happened to ANY other president, it would have been "BREAKING NEWS" and they would be all over it. They would be interviewing the guy's family and talking about charges and giving the history of how the guy was able to do it. Instead it's a laughing point... so weird... if that were a gun, the President would be done... and did you see how long it took Secret Service to even respond???

Funny thing is I get a BREAKING NEWS ALERT e-mail in my inbox this morning, that says "GUY RITCHY TO GET HUGE DIVORCE SETTLEMENT" seriously, that gets breaking news status, but a threat to the President...

what the fuck is going on in this world...

she's under construction
as if you couldn't tell

get this girls some STRANGERS
before her
creativity
quells


and maybe you should fear a record
like the one we used to play

cause if she's going through CHANGES
musemighttrytostray

so I didn't post the turkey pic, SORRY MY 3 AUDIENCE MEMBERS!! heehee,
but me and the man are making other stuff!!!

We are making salt dough ornaments!

They need to get a little harder before we paint them, and I'll post a finished pic, but here's some to tide you over (gotta love my man for always being willing to do whatever project I suggest!!!)...

I'm cooking a turkey for the first time by myself.
SEE ALSO: ahem

I'll post a picture when I'm done, so that Chef Ramsey can make fun of me.

heheee

I kind of took all the ideas my family gave me, a bunch of different recipes and a few shortcuts. My turkey is still rather frozen (um, thanks Butterball)

my dad was like "STUFF IT WITH APPLES". My mom was like "NO APPLES, JUST SOME CRISCO, PEPPER and SAGE". Real Simple recipe says "add chicken broth to bottom of pan halfway through". Alpha says: ALL OF THE ABOVE!
plus, the pepper came out too fast, so the top of it was BLACK...

CAJUN TURKEY DAY hehee

My man is going to laugh very hard, I'm sure.

who fucking cares what you think?

who?

ALPHA, huh?

WHO FUCKING CARES...
about lifeloveliving
pursuitofhappiness
globalswarming
Jesus'spancreas
God'slefttesticle

WHO FUCKING CARES?

you make what you make what you make what you make of it

it's relative and sell-ative and wellness-ative

it's you.

butwhofuckingcares.

(i do)

Oh, and if you want to know WHY folks are different, because they are different, and because they are different
then just see this:
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=8ed_1209300037

Let’s compare, shall we… I know, totally off topic but…
here’s me and my mom and the grandmother from the black side.
and a-ha
my high school senior picture
my mom's high school senior picture
my grandmother (not sure how old, looks like pre-teen??)
and a-ha

no relation
just nostalgia.


ain't that a bitch.

Bryna says
"So, what changed so drastically between the 2nd and the 4th?"

ATG says: nothing. I really could have adapted to whomever was chosen. of course some fresh blood is always good, but really all politicians are the same, promising you the world then delivering sub par.

plus - Americans complain a lot. doesn't matter if the elected were a saint, some will love, some will hate.

plus - things are crappy (so they say), economy in the toilet and everything... but comparatively speaking to other places, we have NOTHING to complain about!

plus - i think there was some shady activity going on to make Obama president. Case in point: McCain, who is this decorated war hero, been in the Senate for YEARS has tons of contacts... and the ONLY person he can find as his running mate is some chick he doesn't even know from some podunk state nobody cares about. Something is VERY weird about that. VERY VERY weird!

has anyone noticed but me???

I've been watching the news for the last 2 days... and it's like all of the sudden they found EVERY AND ANY black person they could to be on tv...

seriously

every news station now has this upsurge in black reporters
every person they interview is black
is it just Los Angeles?

black people on the streets
black people in barber shops
black people in coffee shops
black people celebrating
black people EVERYWHERE

It's a MAJOR difference than just 3 days ago...

is it me??

I have to admit...I got a little emotional.
didn't think I would.
guess I didn't think i'd see the day!
that Americans would stand up.

I actually feel like my vote counted this election.
for the first time.
ever.

Never thought I'd tear up over a president.
because the last 29 years
I thought
and felt
nothing.

but in the end....it's JFK like status.
not complacency.
but
it's not that he's mixed, or black, or different, or white or anything
just that

we need something new.
and now we got our wildcard.

and that's all I really
needed.

oh. p.s.
i'm excited of the prospect of having a MIXED person in office!!!
putting us mixed-folks on the map!!!
(although they only say he's black... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr he's MIXED!!!!)

I’d like to show a little love for the OTHER folks on the ballot.
you know, since we are a democracy (although communism is more aligned to our current two-party-no-differentiation-between-the-two-party-system)

Um, so in case you don’t want Obama or McCain… your choices are… drumroll please….

Cynthia McKinney President, Rosa Clemente Vice President (Green Party)

Alan Keys President, Wiley S Drake Sr. Vice President (American Independent)

Ralph Nader President, Matt Gonzalez Vice President (Peace and Freedom)


Bob Barr President, Wayne Root Vice President (Libertarian)

or, ya’ll can just choose me as your write-in candidate

heheee

I haven’t really talked about this upcoming election. That’s because, for the first time in my life…I really don’t give a fuck who wins.

My level of complacency is fueled even more as the media keeps telling me “this is the most important decision in my life”. I couldn’t disagree more. This falls pretty much in between picking out socks or whether to bring an umbrella at a 20% chance of rain in my book. I’m not sure who I might vote for… and furthermore I don’t think my vote will count for a hill of beans. I’ve studied the candidates. I’ve watched the pros, the cons, the pointing fingers, the EVERYTHINGYOUNEEDGUIDETOSEEWHYWEFAILASHUMANS
and i feel nothing. Not swayed one way or another.
Adjust.
I feel like I can adjust.
to anything.
to Obama
to McCain
even to Bush
AND FURTHERMORE
I think these fucking wackjobs with there McCainPalin or ObamaBiden bumper stickers and signs should get a fucking life.
Something fishy is going to happen this election… and I’m not just talking about Al Gore actually winning with a switcher-roo surprise ending in a Bush.
Something that changes the face of America forever, and the system of voting that we currently use, and our race relations (FORTUNETELLERALPHAFORSEESCIVILWAR). I’m not talking about any doomsday scenario… just a test of fate.

And I’m okay with that. because it’s history and future and present
all rolled into

complacency.

i hate to say I told you so but…

this is the reason i didn’t want my fuckingtaxes to go to a business.


to all that say “yea” from the SENATE

you've dug the grave... now we all must lay (or is it LIE) in it.
fucking idiots

she wanted to be different. i guess.
so she replaced
her teeth
with
littleglasscasings.

they held white confetti…she shook.
and they danced in her mouth

and although I despised her for her ability to block out the harsh comments of the world when I was unable to do so
when she smiled

those snow globes
made a
winter
wonderland
of
white.