And just to spice things up, I became an ordained minister today…

Seriously, boy…
Stop messing with my head
Muse is currently in therapy
She’s got a speech impediment.

No really, boy…
Quit playing with my mind
Muse’s analgesics aren’t working
She’s running out of time.

I mean it now, boy…
Halt all communication
Muse went on vacation
She’s returned to her station.

It’s the last time I’ll say it, boy…
Abdicate or bust
Muse lost conversation
She’s found a new lust.

(you L-O-V-E her, don’t you?)
or was it something she said...

Alternative Ethos?
More like punk rock…
Suicide bombers
Just sold there stock.

Communism fell and landed on my slap
Liberal deities decided to snack
Big Business called, their babies now sick
The Earth wrote a song, but lost her guitar pick.

What happened to free love? Lost to progress (they say)…
Where condom’s reign supreme
And the developed World lost pay.

Shapely maneuvers
Cause Stock Market fires
Like demons they falter
On the heels of a liar.

The plank in your eye is as big as a Bush
The oil in your car
Makes you get out and push.

Enigmatic like system
Static like stain
Mother Nature’s lost detergent
Just got eaten by the rain…

Butwearyourpinkdresswithhighheelshoes.

This Augury has a typo…

Um, you thought I was lying, huh?

CAUTION:
The following Blog post will include name dropping, and may cause bouts of jealousy, awe, and a yearning to be my best friend.

Far be it from me to speak of the many celebrities, celeb-tots, and celeb-nots I have met in the past few months, but alas, I must feed your desire to know about how the other half lives.

This past week (she takes a deep breath), was filled to the brim with food, fun and friends. Let’s recap shall we?

THURSDAY
FACT: My car was in the shop, so I had to accompany my field producer roommate to an interview with Motley Crew.
FACT: Tommy and Nikki Six were rockers to the 10th degree.
FALSE: I made out with Tommy Lee.

FRIDAY
FACT: I had a marvelous dinner in a private tea-room built for two with a great guy.
FACT: Saw The Aviator , not a fan.
FALSE: Eating raw salmon will make you turn into a pumpkin.

SATURDAY
FACT: The Sunset Room in Hollywood has lost its edge.
FACT: The Rock Store does not sell rocks.
FACT: Barney’s Beanery in Santa Monica is a great place to meet Australian tourists.
MULTIPLE CHOICE: Alcohol + Boys – Inhibition + Hollywood = too much fun to mention.

SUNDAY
FACT: Malibu road trip with best buds is what life is made of.
FACT: Jay Leno told me about his brother’s restaurant Leno’s Clam Bar in New Rochelle.
FACT: You know you’re cool when you’ve been in LA for 5 months and you get to go to the William Morris Agency Post-Grammy party.
FACT: Billy Idol sang Mo' Mo' Mo' to me… furthermore, in the middle of a song on stage, he said he liked my hair (um, I know, makes ya sick doesn’t it).
FACT: Billy’s guitarist was practically in my lap jamming like it’s 2005 (um, it is 2005).
FACT: Big & Rich showed me much love, and I most certainly did “save a horse by riding a cowboy."

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Who’s gonna be my Valentine?

The world is on fire, and it started with a burning...
Bush

When your fate is decided by a Cabinet
Your buttons they push.

North Korea, Saudi Arabia, India, Russia, FREEZE

Chip implants
Sycophants
Money
Power
Disease

So get ready to take that ride
On the hand-basket weaved out of blood

And when Uncle Sam comes knocking at your door
Tell him he misunderstood

War is the only way we… no.

Bored? Read what my part time lover has to say:

http://www.chomsky.info/

Some times, sorry
Tends to
Erase all that was
Virtually
Existent.

But not today.

She wishes she could do it over (I think)

Because maybe she’s still confused.

Saying farewell is easier than admitting you’re in too deep.

(it haunts her)

Life: get me another compress, my ticker’s on exchange
Love: Don’t refill my wine glass, this girl’s insane
Muse: Ordinary got into a wrestling match, now she’s tame
LA: Let me know when you’re back from mundane


P.S. It’s been one of those days.

(she’s callous)

I’m sick of talking, to me.

a litany:

It’s not that Christianity, or Judaism, or the Nation of Islam, or Satanist, or Scientist, or (insert other religion here) are wrong. It’s not that they are right. They are. Isn’t that enough? Go ahead and wear your bumper stickers and your swastikas, and your donkey mask.
(hail Mary)
Let’s just suppose Christians loved unconditionally, or that Jews weren’t really chosen, more so they were…

what I say they are.

Be offended.

Because your job sucks and your wife doesn’t.

Get angry.

Because the incompetent Mr. PedophileofthePresident just got a raise.

Sit there.

On your pathetic couch, with your pathetic beer, watching the lives of others unfold. While your laundry is still in the dryer.

You see, you can complain, and blame, and disdain, but isn’t that way more comfortable than putting on that Armani suit, with matching pinstripe socks?

We can joke about politics or laugh about life, because why are we HEAR anyway?

We’re here, aren’t we?

It is possible that we can all be right, and all be wrong at the same time.

Time isn’t just the continuum, it’s the (continue… um.).

When I die, McDonalds will still be open, but In & Out might come out of the closet. Mother Nature will still consume. Cannibalism will still exist (sexist meat eater). But to me, the end of the world has arrived. Apocalypse, now? Because it seems we are all the antichrist, in charge of our own demise.

So what happens when we cease to exist, or co-exist? We lease, our bodies to the soul (blame him). But we still exist, in the memory, and the pain, and the drama… to someone, somewhere.

Vanity looks better when we are blind.

Or maybe pork just taste better when there is mustard on my mashed potatoes.
Existence just called, could you take a message for me?

The backdrop of humanity has always been a fake scene. (serene)

It’s not about who’s running the show, but the players who keep getting put on the bench.

(elation)

Create me another storefront (shortfall takes another stab).

so, i changed things up a bit, because mundane makes you insane, now I have some work to do, or some work has something to do with me

comments you say? my dear, my dear, all in due time

stay tuned...

Why haven’t I written lately?

Hm. life, the world, injustice, inequality, racism, mockery, politics, religion, retaliation, confusion, malediction, ignorance, earthquakes, hate, tidal waves, crime, meteorites, hypocrites, entertainment, big business, bombs exploding, cigarettes, pornography, raped children, American dreams, total destruction, morally lacking, snow storms, rain drops, dying systems, troops abandon, laughing bullies, abortion clinics, death penalties, elected presidents, consumerism, bandwagons, abjuration, love is lacking…

She’s discombobulated.

Of the most PROFOUND things that El Presidente said this morning in his inaugural address:

“Self-government relies, in the end, on the governing of the self.”

Wow, Mr. Bush… your new speech writer most certainly has a way with words.

P.S. I mourn.

It’s ok, she was over it anyway
The glitz
The glamour

You’ve changed.

Good… makes it easier to say bon voyage.

This article requires a full posting, not just a link, and all God’s people said, FUCK YOU AMERICA, we’s having a party...

Private Money to pay for $40 Million Inauguration
http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/01/13/inauguration.costs.ap/index.html

WASHINGTON (AP) -- It will take President Bush less than a minute to take the oath of office next Thursday, but before the inaugural events are over some $40 million may be spent on parades, parties and pyrotechnics.

That doesn't include the costs of the most intense security operation in inaugural history.

The amount spent on this year's festivities will rival the $40 million raised to celebrate Bush's first inauguration in 2001, and will exceed the $33 million spent by President Clinton in 1993 when Democrats returned to the White House for the first time in 12 years.

While the partying is being paid for privately, there have been some mutterings about the scale of the celebrations at a time of war and natural disaster.

Money for the celebratory activities is being raised by the Presidential Inaugural Committee, which as of the end of last week had received $18 million, much in six-figure donations from wealthy supporters and corporate sponsors.

Among the dozens of $250,000 donors are Home Depot, Bank of America Corp., Bristol-Myers Squibb and Ford Motor Co. Kevin Sheridan, a spokesman for the committee, said the fund-raisers were confident they would reach their goals. Sales of inaugural memorabilia, another source of revenue, have been even better than in 2001, he said.

The big donors are rewarded with a variety of inaugural packages, including meetings with political VIPs, tickets to the swearing-in ceremony and parade, and hard-to-get entry into the official inaugural balls and dinners.

The events begin Tuesday with a salute to the troops and a youth concert. On Wednesday there will be a celebration on the Ellipse, including a fireworks show, and three candlelight dinners.

On Thursday afternoon, after Bush takes the oath of office at the Capitol, some 11,000 people will take part in a parade from the Capitol down Pennsylvania Avenue, to the White House. That night there will be nine official balls.

Bleacher seats for the parade cost $15, $60 and $125 apiece, while a ticket to a ball -- with the exception of one ball for military personnel, which is free -- runs $150.

The office of the first lady said Laura Bush will personally pay for her outfits to inaugural events, which include gowns designed by Oscar de la Renta, Carolina Herrera and Peggy Jennings.

"Precedent suggests that inaugural festivities should be muted if not canceled -- in wartime," Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-New York wrote Bush on Tuesday.

Eight congressional Democrats from the Washington area on Wednesday wrote another letter to the president complaining of what they said was the unfair financial burden being imposed on the District of Columbia.

D.C. Mayor Anthony Williams has estimated it will cost the district $17.3 million to help pay for security at the first post-September 11 inauguration, which includes 6,000 law officers and 2,500 military personnel to guard the 250,000 people at the swearing-in and the half-million expected to line the parade route.

Williams, in a letter last month to Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge, said he can use $5.4 million from a fund for special events in the capital, but the other $11.9 million will have to come from the city's federal homeland security budget.

The expenses, Williams said, include $5.3 million in overtime costs for police officers and $2.9 million to cover logistics costs, such as transportation, lodging, box lunches, water and granola bars.

The Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, which is responsible for the swearing-in ceremony, has $1.25 million to handle various production costs, such as staffing and printing, as well as catering and flowers for the luncheon in the Capitol following the oath of office.

The Architect of the Capitol also has a budget of $2.8 million as part of a construction project to spruce up the West Front of the Capitol, where the ceremonies will take place.

Inauguration day, with its street closings and heightened security, will also be a holiday for federal workers in the Washington area. That, according to the Office of Personnel Management, costs taxpayers an estimated $66 million.

Bastian: "Falkor, it's wonderful!" (looks around.) "Falkor, it's like the nothing never was." (They fly over Rockbiter, the Nighthop, and the little man. Bastian waves to them and Rockbiter waves back. They change their direction and suddenly below them is a great endless field, the Great Plains. Bastian looks down and sees Atreyu.)
-- Neverending Story

it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was
it's like the nothing never was

Hello Day…

just like that, it’s over before it began.

she’s finished.

because it only seems to bring her down
and it only feels like middle ground
and just like that her love unwound

she’s better than what he makes her feel.
it’s not about me

like pure-vanilla-sex (when butterscotch is always available)

…and that’s what she felt at that moment

Is anyone else just a bit worried about this whole Tsunami Relief collection program? I can’t help but think about how many dollars will be donated and used to stuff the wallets of the people in charge. Who’s keeping track of the organizations? Who’s keeping track of the money? It seems everyone has a link on their websites to help out… or maybe they are helping themselves.

Loss of Lives + Chaos + Money – Direction = Catastrophic

Money costs a lot of lives…

This article requires a full posting, not just a link, and all God’s people said, FUCK YOU AMERICA, we’s having a party...

Private Money to pay for $40 Million Inauguration
http://www.cnn.com/2005/ALLPOLITICS/01/13/inauguration.costs.ap/index.html

WASHINGTON (AP) -- It will take President Bush less than a minute to take the oath of office next Thursday, but before the inaugural events are over some $40 million may be spent on parades, parties and pyrotechnics.

That doesn't include the costs of the most intense security operation in inaugural history.

The amount spent on this year's festivities will rival the $40 million raised to celebrate Bush's first inauguration in 2001, and will exceed the $33 million spent by President Clinton in 1993 when Democrats returned to the White House for the first time in 12 years.

While the partying is being paid for privately, there have been some mutterings about the scale of the celebrations at a time of war and natural disaster.

Money for the celebratory activities is being raised by the Presidential Inaugural Committee, which as of the end of last week had received $18 million, much in six-figure donations from wealthy supporters and corporate spons

My heart goes out.

It’s not easy coming to grips with death and destruction and the wrath of Mother Nature. 100,000 people, families, villages, friends, lovers, enemies, dreamers, children, parents, generations, lives, destroyed.

And somehow it’s different this time, because the death toll is so high, and you can’t help to think about it, but what can you do, and what can you say. You mention it in conversation, as if remembrance of those struggling will help the missing and the ailing and the half-gone. For me it is a matter of deliberation.

I think about people all over the world, children weeping and diseased, in pain. Teenagers struggling to survive. Parents fearing for their offspring. Thousands of years of evolving and revolving, and still we can’t fight the common cold.

But WE can fight. And fight we do... everyday, we find a new reason to make war with another nation. Every second, someone is plotting against a country, or a race, or a religious group. We fight, in the name of Death, because Life is just too complicated.

Struggle.

But this one is man vs. nature. Don’t worry, man vs. man is coming soon.

So the next time you complain about your job, or that your morning coffee is too hot, or that the elevators take too long, or the waitress you have is too slow, or your parents don’t love you, or your friends don’t care about you, or your house is too small, or your money is not enough, or your girlfriend flirts too much. Think Death.

It looms like dishonesty.

Mein Kampf. What about yours?

We spend our entire lives trying to become whole after the half-life that was taken through our childhood. We swear we will never return to whence we came, to the town that stole our livelihood, our dreams, our hopes, or what should have been our reality.

We make secret pacts to ourselves, never to return to our past, our awful pasts, and that we will not let all that has made us who we are haunt us. We are different.

You and I, we are not that small hick-town we were born in. Or that corner store we used to hang around, or that kid from down the block that would never do anything or be anyone or go anywhere.

I returned. But don’t you know who you are? Didn’t you always?

You are not your past, you may not even be your present, but you can be your future. So get past it. Life ends. And given the latest headlines, perhaps the end is closer than we assume:

Dollar hits new low versus euro

- The US dollar has continued its record-breaking slide and has tumbled to a new low against the euro.
Russia and China plan war games

- Russia and China - former Cold War foes - will hold an unprecedented military exercise in the second half of 2005.

Asia battles earthquake aftermath

- Many do not know if missing relatives are dead or alive. Survivors and rescuers are battling the devastation left by sea surges that wiped out entire communities, killing about 23,000 people.

'Artificial life' comes step closer

-Researchers at Rockefeller University in the US have made the first tentative steps towards creating a form of artificial life.


What’s it all about? You. Me. Love. Life. Forgiveness. Faith. Honor. Money. Individuality. Respect. Trusts. Death. Living. Giving. Trying. Buying. Sighing. Knowing. Showing. Growing. It’s all what you make of it.

So stop thinking you’ll be happy when you get “that” job, or have “that” much money, or when you find “that” someone. Because it’s not really where you’ve been, or what you're doing now, it’s where your going.

Well… have you bought your ticket yet?

Not really busy, more like occupied of mind. Mental states like Jersey drives, she’s in like. Thinking consumed, feelings exhume, not enough room, for the both of:

US (gait moves closer)

Ode To Sleep


Let's just say that Alpha The Great has taken a break from her usual scandalous rendezvous' and had been retiring early.

Sleep: rejuvenate me
Sleep: recreate me
Sleep: dominate me

11 hour naps (she said) and still she's late to work.

Docile dreams of hanging Life's laundry (she thought).
Acquiescent being of non-destruction (she whispered).
The conjugation of Remiss and Hebetude

Well rested.

But alas, the weekend beckons…

I slept.

And it was the slumber that most only dream about.

12 hours, locked in the chambers of my mind escape
this is what she came up with:

A sitcom about something, instead of nothing
A movie about everything, instead of one thing
A conflict

What sells?
What cells…turn a profit?

Dissidence meets with Rivalry, they get divorced and have a stepchild, and Discord gets a front seat view.

25 years on earth, and you're no millionaire. Maybe that's just not where your aortic valve leads.

You should have a house
You should have a job
You should have a life
You should have a marriage
You should have a…
Or maybe, I'm just happy with a good cup of coffee.

I'm a producer, and a conducer and a inducer.

Watch me writhe (I need an outlet)

Because I'm not where you want me to be, and I'm not where my life can be seen, and I'm not part of the celebrity scene. Or maybe you should just listen to silence (golden).

I'm ready. So don't disburden your truckload of worriment my way (I'm no one)
So put that in your bevy of nonchalance, and tell me another song.

P.S. She's…not who you want her to be (go figure).

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

There, that's better.

It bothers me.

New York was the city I both loved and loathed equally. Los Angeles is the city that I neither love or loathe similarly.

Let me begin by stating, life is less than short. I feel like this particular Blog is going to focus more on you, instead of me. I see it everyday. Mundane has taken control of the lives that inhabit this earth.

Don't you know that your time here is short? Live it. Fall in love, then fall on your face. Break hearts. Be broken. Skydive. Go up to that boy you've been dreaming about. Give that girl from the coffee shop down the street a flower. Apply to that job that you know you could do better than anyone else.

What do you have to lose? I'll tell you… TIME. Your wasting time with every breath you take. POOF (it's over), and your still complaining about your boss. Tell him to shove his grandesoylatte up his ass, AND LIVE.

Is it about money? Maybe for you it is, or maybe it's about people, or maybe it's just about life. Whatever it is about for you, MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Get married. Have kids. Go horseback riding. Climb the Great Wall. Get divorced. Swim with dolphins. Take your kids to breakfast. Fly to the moon. Write your poem to the world.

LIVE. LIVE I SAY!

Yes, there will be pain. Yes, people you love will come and go out of your life. Yes, you may fail 30 times before you succeed. But, alas… to try is better than to die.

And let's face it. We all die.

So stop watching the Airbrushed-ThinnnerThanYou-BotoxLips-DroppedOutOfHighschool-RunOfTheMill-CousinToSomeBigShotProducer who just got the role you wanted, and give it another go round.

P.S. Your Life just called, bring home some flowers.

Hm. And don't forget to send me a postcard.

Surprise, Surprise. Our humble narrator returns from the abyss. It's been a while, but that's because she's resting (or was it restless?)

The holidays abound, and let's not lose focus. Whether your nucleus is a fat man plummeting down your chimney, or a devout man hanging on your cross, now's the time to make change (CARBON COPY: Male Dominated Society, BLIND CARBON COPY: Veil Dominated Society)

Not in my world… AlphaFemale prevails.


And by change I mean be a mover/shaker.

She left, you know. To escape the hustle and bustle that is New York (fetus of self-expression), she made her escape route.

What did she find, you ask?

Transform me. Adorn me. Scorn me.
But don't take away my canvas.

So, Muse just bought a new star, and Alpha The Great is drinking at the fountain… give them some time, they're daring.

And who are you today?

Day of days
Time’s repent
I sauntered about
The hour was unbent
Traveled afar
The world took me back
Tried to unwind
But the life-trains off track.
Moved over a mountain
Or a rainbow moved me
Could have swallowed life whole
But I’d choke on the sea
Held my dreams
‘Cause Muse couldn’t get out
Gave my money to the gods
So they’d figure it out
Left my home for a vision
Followed existence down the cracks
Now my souls leading
And there’s no turning back.
Thought the sun was shining
But paint covered the walls
Thinking about seasons
Walking around Fall
Been told what I’m saying
Tried given in to words
But the only thing it bought me
Was Idiosyncrasies, Absurd.

But alas… she finds another escape route (find her)

Today, in Century City, CA (where I work) there was a power outage (um, NY Blackout… the comeback?), therefore my building did not have power until 11am. What does that mean? It means you have a bunch of worker bees buzzing about, complaining about the long line downstairs for coffee, because that was the only coffee machine that appeared to be working. What else does that mean? It means Alpha The Great got a chance to ponder, and ponder she did. I began to handwrite a list (no, not my Christmas wish list) of questions that pertain to existence.

Now, it’s not like I am the first mover or shaker with the questions on this list, scholars, philosophers and the like have debated the questions I present for quite some time. I was merely creating the list so that the next time I enter into a relationship (a friendship, an acquaintance, or even a deliciously lovely committed love affair), that I should know the other person’s standpoint on these particular questions. The lights came back on before I could even begin to finish the list, and I will definitely brainstorm some more questions as the week’s progress, but here’s my starting point. So, if you consider yourself my best friend, acquaintance, or whatever… next time you see me, let’s discuss. Or even better, tell me the questions that are on your mind, because isn’t that what life is about: People and their actions, in pursuit of happiness, within this unpredictable things we call existence…(I don’t know, is that what life is about? You tell me)...

What is life? Is it individual or holistic? Is there one definition, or can you make of it whatever you want it to be?

Why are “we” here? Why are “you” here? Is that the same question?

What is religion? What is belief? Can you have faith without religion or belief?

Who are you without your “god”?

What religious argument is most convincing (Christianity, Judaism, Muslim, etc.)?

What would people say about you in your eulogy today?

What do you wish they would say about you in your eulogy if you live 50 more years?

What is family? Is family necessary?

What is success? Is there such a thing? Once you obtain it, don’t you set more goals, so therefore can success ever be obtained?

Animals: Food, Friend, or Both?

What is love? Is there such a thing as unconditional love? Can you love more than one person (as in relationship love)?

Are we our jobs? Are we the money we make?

Is democracy the best form of government? Should it be embraced by all countries, or is it better to have diversity in various countries?

Are looks everything?

Thousands of product choices: good thing or bad thing?

Should morality/ethics be taught in grade school? Whose ethical code or morals should be taught?

So that’s about as far as I got before the building god’s said, “let there be light”. This is just surface level stuff before I bring out the heavy artillery. We didn't even begin to delve into this thing we call Alpha's Mind. Stay tuned...

Someone stole Muse’s pillow

She dreamt.

But she didn’t have to dream, because her escape was lying next to her.

She slept.

And Restless bought a new pair of slippers.

She thought.

A little bit of like is lovelier than a lot of love, unrequited.

She fell.

But perhaps she doesn’t want to get picked up, this time.

He’ll meditate on that one, you know, and sometimes a ditty is worth a thousand ponders.

She can’t get enough of…

He’s watching.

She never could keep a secret (fallible)

She’s twisted.

Or…maybe…he…just…makes…her…smile.

louche \LOOSH\, adjective: Of questionable taste or morality; disreputable or indecent; dubious; shady.

The epitome of epiphany strikes again
(just hold me)
The embodiment of effectuation.
(just scold me)
She’s thriving.
(just mold me)
Catharsis vs. Narcissus the battle begins
(just…me)