Ever conscious of the world beyond
Whistle she does
That old familiar song

Girl with the tan skin, smiling.

Tiptoeing through the cries of rose petals
Tethered feathers? Her eyes see more than twists.

An eyelash she bats, another one is out of the park,
Fly call
She’s dancing.

Girl with the tan skin, smiling.

One day someone will write about her
She’ll follow his dreams,
eScape her web address might read
wrong
view her, she’s on to Something
but Something is still looking for an agent.

Unscathed, she breathes another ocean…


but today she’s just the Girl with the tan skin, smiling.

I took a walk
Or maybe a walk took me
The night zephyr rang
I followed
I wallowed


What is life?

That existence over there, yes, that one
I pinched a tree
To see if it was dreaming
It laughed.
A hundred rings, and still no one picks up

So I constantly contemplate
My lifeboat’s energy
Ships sail’s on sale, markdown

Dug out from the form, in my shape

Seedless. Endless. Bountiful.

In love with words, and pregnant with truth
Another trial run

Does this demo ever begin?

…and that’s what we call it.

Life left a message, too busy to take it? (dial tone)

This makes me chuckle...
Spider...Man?


On a lighter note... what do you think about body detoxification systems (i.e. herbal supplements that clean out your system). Any info you can provide me with, good sources (websites, books, etc.) when considering it?

So it’s been busy
So it’s been majestic
So it’s been…
This life, it is.

My mind is like “ecstatic”
My head is like “erratic”
My world is like “galactic”
My curls are like… static, electric as my being.

And Jealousy just bought a new green skirt.

What’s on your agenda? Hello Earth… I’m taking over.
Sincerely,
Ms.KnewSheCould

and it’s just me
and it’s just she…so unusual

life is grand
flirtations is banned
rear-view mirror is tan,
reflection.

howled at the moon
faxed a copy too soon?
business is boom, base like turned up treble

she’s off again, you know how she gets
you keep wishing she’ll be tied down
she’ll want you
she’ll need you
she laughs
(i know)
you can’t hold her,
but memory will try

she’ll never commit.
she’s thick
(i know)
or maybe she doesn’t care
where
you bare, your
sole, like proprietor
she owns your…

in her rearview mirror, she stares at her…self.

you’ll never be my world
(i...no)

You know you are a dork when:

1.You keep your ‘fast checkout’ library card on your keychain, and all library personnel are on a first name basis with you.

2.Your idea of fun on a Friday night is constructing a business plan.

3.You prefer documentaries about the perils of society instead of the latest blockbuster.

4.The first station programmed into your car does not play music, but rather contains a schedule of informational discussions and debates.

5.You have your own apartment, and you are the only one who lives their, and you have a wireless network setup complete with computer and laptop so you can travel to any room and still have internet access.

6.You would rather overhaul someone’s résumé than go to the movies.

7.You set your alarm on Saturday to wake up surprisingly early, even though you do not have to be anywhere until 3pm.

8.You can’t get to sleep, it’s 2am, and suddenly you feel the need to research the rising extinction level of several species in the Amazon.

9.The thought of writing a compelling letter or grant excites you.

10.You have whole conversations with yourself when you are in your car.

…welcome to my world.

Time…

Like a 15 year old whore who’s reprimanded
Or a firefly with no mate

Keeps going out

Perhaps, it was just a gnat in my baked beans

Deuteronomy 25:5 – 12
5If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. 6The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel.
7However, if a man does not want to marry his brother’s wife, she shall go to the elders at the town gate and say, “My husband’s brother refuses to carry on his brother’s name in Israel. He will not fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to me”. 8Then the elders of his town shall summon him and talk to him. If he persists in saying , “I do not want to marry her,” 9his brother’s widow shall go up to him in the presence of the elders, take off one of his sandals, spit in his face and say, “This is what is done to the man who will not build up his brother’s family line.” 10That man’s line shall be known in Israel as The Family of the Unsandaled.


11If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, 12you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

Um, yeah… so I bet that was at the top of the list for the Creator of this world… that a woman’s hand should be cut off if she seizes an assailant’s twig and berries.

NOTE TO SELF: I got a new commenting tool... so fill up those comments ya'll

The Rundown:
Let’s talk about The Apprentice… great episode! Omorosa, you’re a bitch, and you’re fired. Excellent decision Trump. I am sure you’ve noticed that Trump has his favorites, and in the end it will be a male that wins (Alpha The Soothsayer Doth Protest). I can’t say that Omorosa is to blame for the horrible defeat in the task that was assigned. She was the ONLY one who actually sold a piece of that “interesting artwork”. I really think that if Omorosa would not have had such a dramatic breakdown in the boardroom, things might have been different. Methinks she new she was getting canned when the emphasis shifted to her taking an extra 10 minutes for lunch. Kwame, all in all, you seem quite a fit candidate for The Apprentice…tune in next week.

Just for the record:
The deadline for The Apprentice has been extended. Yeah, so that is my queue. No excuses, I have enough time to borrow a friends VCR to make my debut. Good stuff. Um, we all know that the reason Trump decided to extend the deadline is because he knew I didn’t get a chance to send in my tape. Don’t worry Trumpster, I’m on top of it.

In Other News:
I had another job interview today in the city. At first the thought of commuting from Westchester to Manhattan to work was ghastly. Change of opinion. I rather enjoy sitting on the train, reading my book, and enjoying the views of the Hudson river. Methinks change is good, and I welcome it wholeheartedly.

And Now This:
So I’m reading this excellent book called, The Gnostic Gospels, by Elaine Pagels. Thanks to our own Ms. Daisy who purchased it and another book so we can further our debate on religion, Christianity, and Jesus. I’ll give you the highlights of our discussion another time (yes, try to contain yourself; the excitement must be hard to control!). I’m also reading another excellent book called, Deep Fathom by James Rollins. Hm, so many books, so little time…

How about you? How is life treating you?

The Letter I Sent To Verizon:

I am about 1 month away from canceling my Verizon wireless service and signing up with a competitor (yes, I am willing to break my current contract and pay the ridiculous fee for doing so, just because your service and products are less than adequate). I just wanted Verizon to know why: I have been a loyal customer for over 5 years. I have never had a late payment (even when your company messed up my account several different times, and I ended up paying for options I didn’t ask for, taxes that I wasn’t suppose to pay, and calls that were dropped). Your are raping consumers of time and money. I feel like I am talking to your customer service department more than I am talking to my friends and family. Verizon… you need to get with the program. Just about every one of your competitors offer more minutes, for less money, and better customer service.

I am making the switch (thanks to the ability to bring your phone number with you!). I sure do hope you see a pattern here-people are switching-because you are not doing your part to make them happy with your company, products, or services. Perhaps You Could Consider The Following Suggestions: More calling plan options; rollover minutes; anytime minutes starting earlier; better promotions; Bonus deals and services for long time customers; survey’s that ask customers what’s important to them; perhaps just a “thank you” for using Verizon (even a rebate of $5 after having a contract for 5 years would have been enough to make me feel better about your company); realize that it takes a lot more effort/money to gain a new customer than it takes to retain an old one.

I sure do hope someone in your business development/planning office is listening, because I may be the only one who speaks out, but judging from friends and family members that also use Verizon, their feelings are mutual.

Unhappily yours (for only a month or so more!),
Alpha The Great

UGH!!! So I am all set to send my The Apprentice application in… and I filled out all the paperwork, and I got plenty of footage for the required VHS, and I am all ready to go despite my last minute attempts (deadline = March 4) and I go to copy the VHS from my smaller video camera cassette, and my friggin VCR doesn’t work! AAAAAAAaaahhhhh. There is no way I will have time to go tomorrow and use someone else’s… sheesh. Looks like ya’ll will have to see me on The Apprentice next time around.
Other than that, things are grand. GRAND I SAY!

… maybe we’ll get a chance to Tango later

So… I am pretty darned drugged up on meds (SEE ALSO: Sinus infection, ear infection, and my head feeling like someone is blowing up a hot air balloon inside of it). Cut to me coming home around 5ish and sleeping until 9. Cut to me still being exhausted, and my head swimming from several unpronounceable pills (thanks doc). I was thinking:
Which would you rather have…

Every time you looked into the mirror, you saw a hideous deformed monster, but the rest of the world saw you as breathtakingly beautiful

OR

Every time you looked into the mirror, you saw a breathtakingly beautiful person, but the rest of the world saw you as a hideous deformed monster?

Methinks I would rather not have either, but if given the choice I would have to say that I would rather the world sees me as breathtakingly beautiful. Kind of shallow, but in the scenario it depends on what type of person you are on the inside. Since I know I am a good person on the inside, I think I wouldn’t mind seeing a hideously deformed person every time I looked in the mirror (although it would probably get to me after a while). I would also have to consider what I looked like before… would I be born that way, or would I get to choose at a certain age? Alpha The Great, aren’t you the one proposing this question? Shouldn’t you have all this hashed out already? Hrmph.

Put your answer in the comment section below!

So it has been a while, fare Blog, since I have updated you with the thoughts o’ my life. Well, first (deep breath, exhale). Life has been a lot more than exciting, a little less than extraordinary, and just about spectacular. Alpha The Great was laid off last week… but don’t go getting your box of tissues out, because it was a layoff I was praying and hoping for. I have never really talked about my work setting via Blog before, and that was because I was unsure of who would be reading (HEADLINE: GIRL GETS FIRED FOR EXPOSING HER WORK ENVIRONMENT FOR WHAT IT IS). Now that I am no longer a part of that bizarre company (--this part deleted so that I don't get sued--) I can reveal my opinions on why I think working for such a company was such a valuable experience.

FACT: (--this part deleted so that I don't get sued--) (SEE ALSO: Buying ones’ spouse on the Internet)
FACT: I worked for the company (which will remain anonymous) for two years.
FACT: (--this part deleted so that I don't get sued--)
FACT: I worked in one of the most socially inept environments I have every witnessed (methinks I can leave this part in).

Where it all began:
So when I graduated college, I wanted to stay in Westchester County, and I was pretty open to doing anything. I wanted to work in a company and get some experience before going to Grad School--um, yeah Alpha, shouldn’t you be applying right about now? (Hrmph). So I started temping (through an agency) and the job at “Insert Name Of Company Here” came across the desk of the employment agency. Having the Business Administration and Business Education background (double B.S., Alpha The Great = overachiever) the job seemed right up my alley.
Here’s the catch: (--this part deleted so that I don't get sued--) . So here’s Alpha The Great (with her crazy colors and funky hair) working for a geek-filled (no offense, I am a geek as well), socially void, environment (Psssst… will someone please tell the audience that Alpha The Great is the Queen of Social) imaginable.
Rewind to a few months ago, and Alpha The Great is loathing her job. Her department (--this part deleted so that I don't get sued--) , her manager is (--this part deleted so that I don't get sued--) (cut to Alpha TheGreat having to endure stories about how he has no problem getting “it” up despite his blood pressure medication) and the biggest (--this part deleted so that I don't get sued--) I have ever met in my entire life, and Ms. Great can take no more. But there is a catch here, folks. The Great One was volunteering so much (See Also the Make-A-Wish Foundation, and Ambulance Corp.) and getting together her business plan for her own business that she was starting (details to come), that she didn’t have time to look for another job.
Fast Forward to Alpha The Wonderful hoping she would get laid off so that she could take a month or so off and still get paid (no really, whoever thought of that whole ‘severance package’ thing should be knighted).
Rewind to 1 week ago, Alpha Getting the SPECTACULAR news that she is laid off along with a few others… SWEET GLORY!!! Fast Forward to Alpha The Great getting 3 job offers in the first week, and several other interviews lined up… yeah so, to all the unemployed complaining that there are no jobs available, perhaps you should let me overhaul your resume a bit… Did I Mention… I do that on the side (don’t worry, I don’t charge friends!).

The Present:
So as it stands, my business plan is coming along nicely, but methinks I want to work in the non-profit sector for a bit before I start my own business. Or maybe Grad School first. Or maybe… yeah so as you can see, so many options, so little time in this thing called life.

Just For The Record – I most likely will be moving to Florida in a few months (I need sunshine, and I need a break from NY for a bit. I’m thinking 2 or 3 years in the Sunshine State will be grand).
Just For The Record – I’m being pretty picky about the next job I take, Alpha The Great won’t settle for anything less than phenomenal (isn’t that the way God intended?)
The Moral Of The Story - I’m worth it, and so are you… so get out of that 9-5 you dread going to, and start doing what you LOVE! I’ll help you… tell me what you need…

Curtain Close
Exit stage left, with pep in my step and shake in my bake…
P.S. I had to go back and delete stuff, since I got my severance package papers, and they say I can't say negative things about the company... tee hee

“Because he wants love, man,” she says, “and he can’t get it. Look at all the commandments. They all say, Love me or die. What a weird message! God insists that you love him. He says, If you don’t love me, I’ll punish you with boils and plagues and locusts. I will burn you in Hell. His vanity is endless. Love me, he says, love me, love me, love me. He’s supposed to be the most powerful dude in the universe, El Senor, the Father of us all, and he comes across as a huge pain in the ass.”


-Forever

It’s a story about unrequited love.
And it’s happy
And it’s sad
And it’s mad
And it’s…

She wanted to be alone. So she told him how she felt. And it wasn’t easy, but a few glasses of wine made it all the more pleasant.
She sighed.
Because you know, it’s all about her.
Because you know, it’s all around her.
Because you know it’s all… surrounds her.

She must have seen it in a movie
On the other hand, read it in a poem.
Break.

Hearts are the strongest, even when they are weak.
Like weeks gone by.

She stood her ground.
And she wished she could say she loved, but that card game has been played
And she wished he wouldn’t stay undone, but broken is easier to fix
And she kissed away that day… they tangoed in the sun.

Life, it always seems to cry
Life, it always seems to know why
Life, it never wants to die.
Prosper.

So she closed that chapter, again and again.
And chicken still bakes
And whimper still fakes
And earth still quakes…
She’s searching.

ALAS! She has found her muse.
… or maybe muse found her.

(but is that what this is all about?)

Dear Alpha,

I am very proud of all of you and very grateful to all of you for your
extraordinary hard work.

I announced today that I am no longer actively pursuing the presidency.

I am so thankful for all of you who traveled around the country, showed
up at our office, worked around the clock, because you believed in what
we were doing - to you, thousands of Americans who have given generously
of your time, in your states, because you believed in our cause.

I want to thank the 300,000 small donors that decided that they wanted
their country back.

I want to thank all the people in every state who heard our message and
supported us.

We have led this party back to considering what its heart and soul is.
Although there is a lot of work left to do, I am very proud of all of
you and very grateful to all of you for your extraordinary hard work.

As the fight moves forward, I have some things that I specifically want
to ask of you.

First, keep active in the primary. We are still on the ballots. Sending
delegates to the convention only continues to energize our party. Fight
on in the caucuses. Use your network to send progressive delegates to
the convention in Boston. We are not going away. We are staying
together, unified -- all of us.

Secondly, we will convert Dean for America into a new grassroots
organization, and I hope you stay involved. We are determined to keep
this entire organization vibrant. There are a lot of ways to make
change. We are leaving one track, but we are going on another track that
will take back America for ordinary people again.

Third, there have been a lot of people who have decided to run for
office locally as a result of this campaign. I encourage you to run for
office and support candidates like you who run for office. We will use
this enormous organization to support you as you run -- we will change
the face of democracy so that it represents ordinary Americans once
again.

We must beat George W. Bush in November. I will support the nominee of
our party and do everything I can to beat George W. Bush and I urge you
to do the same. But we will not be above letting our nominee know that
we expect them to adhere to the standards that this organization has set
for decency, honesty, integrity and standing up for ordinary American
working people.

One of the things that I realized a long time ago is that change is very
difficult. There is enormous institutional resistance to change in this
country. You cannot expect people with great privileges taken at the
expense of ordinary working people to surrender them lightly.

Change is hard work. Change does not happen simply because you go to a
rally and simply because you make phone calls -- and I know how hard
everybody has worked. But change is a process that you can never give up
on.

Change is the state of America and change is the state of humankind. The
history of humanity is that determined people overcome obstacles. It is
natural for people to resist, but it is also inevitable that we will
win.

So we will continue to fight. This is the end of phase one of this
fight, but the fight will go on, and we will be in it together. We will
continue to bring our message of hope and change to the American people.

Thank you very much for everything that you have done.

Governor Howard Dean, M.D.

I see heart…

Break

Like tides shake and moons

Fake.



And Love’s got a crush.

And Love’s life is such

And Love’s not enough



Down it goes

Crown is shows

Feelings doze.



blinded



Stay or believe.



Feelings like invoke

Tears like choke

Day after day after day…stoked.



Estranged, more like deranged

How we hurt us

Selves.

Like shelves, on a rocky cliff

Feelings like…bytes of bits.

And it hurts

And it blurts

And it alerts

senses



…just like that old familiar phrase.

Pain in his fingers, like the guitar could feel his sorrow
Whines.
Like chords strummed out of sequence
Defeat in every stroke.

strum

That kind of note playing in the background
That makes you squint one eye
Because it’s just that…

strum

And when you play your mind is at ease
And when you play the world is appeased
And when you play your thoughts do cease

TakeOver (strum)

The guitar it yells
strum
The guitar it cries
strum
The guitar it spills
strum

Your voice heard through it's sighs.

Desire burns as your fingers try
Your sleeve is pinned, so your heart’s in your mind
and it’s performing that old familiar tune.

Or maybe the instrument is playing you.


strum…

Let’s confuse the situation a little more
Boys boys boys
Like I visited the Man Store.

Objection exception
Tango’s perception
Was the triangle squared?
Maybe it bared it’s soul.
Lose control
Take of this bowl
Forbidden
Fruit, like cake
Has my mind in ache
Body’s got the shakes
Shocking.
Invisible girl returns
Has she learned?
Invincible.
Player for Life, the game was right
Passing "GO" only gives you a speeding ticket.

So let’s just say…
Unknown.

She stalks
She balks
She walks

Invincible.

hebetude \HEB-uh-tood-; -tyood\, noun:
Mental dullness or sluggishness.


Hrmph. “A terminal funk of hebetude and sloth…” Methinks that is the way I am feeling today.

Work… you say? But of course.

Cyclical like banter
Singing chants like cantor

Job: The second cousin to Aunt So-AND-So, that nobody likes…every year she brings the same Jell-O mold.

Picked up a bucket of muse on the moon
Wished it were a pitcher of you
Sang a song about rumination
But Deliberation made “methinks” anew.

Thought about thinking
Walked without winking
Pots and pans clinking…

Cogitation in lieu.

So I grabbed a thicket of unreality
And put it in my Alpha-Caboodle Stew
Swirled it around with some subconscious decision
And my thoughts were still focused on Who.

Walked along a trail of indecision
Until it got off track
So now I find myself at the start of beginning
Tripping over truth with the facts.

Judged about judging
Drudged without nudging
Smear without smudging

Consideration says, “I do”.

So I set free a vile of anti-dissension
And got it out of my Alpha-Mélange Soup
Twisted it up in blender of Me
But Infallibility was thrown for a loop.

… and life on her planet will never be the same.

I felt so sneaky. There, in the snow, slyly covering my tracks like a fox on the trail of its newfound prey. I laughed. It was one of those hearty guttural laughs that brought back memories of childhood playfulness and mid-life crisis. My arms were numb, and my legs resembled a snowy incline, complete with avalanches and snow-slides. I wondered if my glove did cease to be a glove when it no longer protected me from the harsh reality that is winter. Frantically I continued. It was like I couldn’t stop, exhilarating me, exhausting me, taking every ounce of my being.

The snow danced on my face, the cold bit my feet, the ice stabbed my ears. But I continued. Gallantly. (QUICK! GET DOWN!) I thought someone was peaking out of the window. My adrenaline was pumping and my body glistened with sweat despite the frigid weather. I almost gave myself away. As I rounded the edge of completion the victory was mine. I had accomplished, defeated, life summoned me to a task and I was its owner. Then as I quickly ran away from my prey, I knew that somewhere, somehow, someway I made a difference. I was the catalyst. I made a change. The possibilities of outcomes were endless. I walked home, a victorious warrior returning to her rightful habitat.

…and when that family goes outside to start their car, they will see the result of my handiwork. For, their car was happily cleared of all snow by the Walk-By-Car-Clearer-Bandit. Their lives might never be the same.

I never ask why I received the mission, I never complain, I never think “why me”. I just do it, because that’s what life is all about. Make Change.

THE BLAME GAME: Tonight’s featured guest: The Downfall of Me

So let’s just say that you take responsibility for your own actions. And that you decide that the reason you couldn’t win the race was because you relied on Me to get you to the starting line.
Guess what, I have to rely on Me… Maybe there’s not enough to go around.
Guess what, Me needs a vacation.
Guess what, Me needs to curl up in a corner and read a good book.

So, you decide the reason you couldn’t pick up the reward money was because you relied on Me to bring you the bag to put it in.

Down on Me
Down on Me
Down on Me

Because You just got Up.

I have to admit…I’m a fan. The Apprentice has got me hooked. HOOKED I SAY! Let’s just start this by stating that I am a business-exalter. Business is how I thrive, processes, methodologies, and departmental breakdowns; those are my passions (sad, I know). I love the way people interact when they have a common goal. Methinks that is why my ex-boyfriend playfully dubbed me as “business-bitch” whenever I would get into my rant and rave mode about companies and events that peaked my interest.

Now with that preface, let’s talk about the show. Donald Trump: I’m diggin’ him. From his clear-cut decisions, to his perseverance and his playful mannerisms…he’s just the sort of billionaire you love to hate and hate to love. But, come on Mr. T… methinks it’s time for a hairstyle change. That puff of cotton candy you have protruding from your forehead is quite unbecoming (and just think, you didn’t even have to pay an image consultant for that advice). Let’s stick with the main point here: The Apprentice. Men vs. Women. VersaCorp vs. Protégé. Man vs. Himself. Woman vs. Machine. Money vs. Power (I see an upcoming made for TV movie here).

Things I love to hate about the show:
The random sampling of men and women chosen for the show are horrible. The women bicker and fight, the men can’t get their act together. There is not one among the sampling that seems intelligent enough or that has enough drive to be chosen as the apprentice.

What disturbs me most:
It’s all about money. All contestants focus on the fact that they want to have Trumps money, and that is what drives them to compete. Money isn’t everything folks… gaining respect form your peers, helping others in need, using your power and money to make a difference, now that is a worthwhile cause (can I get an AMEN?!).

Predictions:
Methinks they are going to choose the black female (Omarosa) in the end… she’s a political consultant and PhD candidate. Although I can’t stand her attitude and her “black power” trip, she seems like the most levelheaded and mature person for the job (which is not saying much). I’m not too impressed with any of the guys that are on the show, not in brains, or brawn, or individuality.

Tune in next week…

PICTURE THIS… it’s below zero outside. The exhaust of a thousand vehicles droning by like worker bees has tainted the new fallen snow. In the distance is an apartment; some might call it a home even though by nature it is a temporary dwelling. Our humble narrator can be seen in the distance, snuggled up close.
Shared existence, like parasite to host.
A host.

So, tonight a book is my long lost love.

And I’m the Queen of Chivalry
And I’m the Princess of Gallant
And I’m the Epitome of Courageous


lost

In the nadir of the narrator’s soul…because that is where I reside.

Wrap me up in a handshake
I’ll show you the depths of my smile
Cradle my feelings in a covenant of love
And delight me while your ambiance beguiles.

I can’t be your analgesic
But pain is the breath of a sigh
So when you feel the fingertips of life’s progression
I can help the pain to subside.

Wrap me up in a lullaby
I’ll show you the widths of my ease
Support my opinion in a pledge of devotion
And I’ll guide you with a passion that doesn’t cease.

I can’t be your magic potion
But I just might have the cure
So when you feel the birth pangs of resolution
My soul is an open door.

Be my BuildMeUp, so I can be your Try…

Enter me.

It slapped me in the face… the sting of realization in my eyes. You go along fighting, wondering, trying, being. And sometimes you don’t know what is right. And sometimes you put up a fight. But in the end it’s always the same theme.
Did I mention a moral?

Our humble narrator has come to some realizations, and they have always been there, perhaps it is the first time (again) she has decided to acknowledge them.
And life won’t be the same.
And her world does not remain.

I AM THE NARRATOR’S SOUL,
AND I’M RESTIVE,
AND I’M EXCITED.
DID I MENTION RELENTLESS?

So I e-mailed my heart, and I told it I was ready (CARBON COPY: Catalyst; BLIND CARBON COPY: Change).

So she’s restless again, and she thinks it’s about that time to throw life into the wind and see where it falls, more importantly see where G-d leads it. This is just the beginning…

Curtain remains open. Exit stage left.

Her life spilled out onto the canvas
A smear of anxiety
A dollop of doubt
A smidgen of fear

And it seemed pieces of her
were in every
stroke
of
the
brush.

A bit of blue
A slit of gray
A douse of black

and red was an afterthought.

bus•y P Pronunciation Key (b z )
adj. bus•i•er, bus•i•est
1. Engaged in activity, as work; occupied.
2. Sustaining much activity: a busy morning; a busy street.
3. Meddlesome; prying.
4. Being in use, as a telephone line.
5. Cluttered with detail to the point of being distracting: a busy design.

Let’s just say these past few week have been a little less than hectic, a little more than demanding, and just about eventful.

FACT: Vacation from work is not the same as vacation from mind
FACT: Friends, family, and acquaintances were all in alignment this week
FACT: I need a break. A BREAK I SAY!

So yeah, our humble narrator has found herself entertaining and being entertained more oft then not these weeks. And I just want to relax at home. And I just want to be alone. And I don’t want to answer the phone.

You get like that sometimes, right? Like you want to shut the world out for a while so you can think
And breath
And ponder
And create
And be… without outside influence. Well, my muse is not really suffering, but I haven’t found the time to…

Let’s talk about New Years. 11:45, Alpha The Great on the West Side Highway, no traffic.

And she screamed at the top of her lungs.
And she was in her car alone, which she loved.

So I went to this party in the city… and for some reason people want to be around each other for events, and for some reason people don’t want to be alone, and for some reason people get depressed when they are by themselves.
Not me.

So your humble narrator thought… he’s here, and he’s got money, and he’s got “friends”, and it seems he’s living it up. But I wonder how many of those people were here for him. You know? I mean how many people did he even know? That is what parties are about though… put a bunch of people in a room with some music and alcohol. In the end everyone just wants to get laid, or brag about who they are, or get laid, or brag about who they are, or get laid, or brag about who they are…


This IS New York, isn’t it?